In the past two days, I have felt a complete shifting of tack, or a turn in direction I hadn’t anticipated heading into so quickly: Detachment. This isn’t to say a lack of love, or compassion (far from), but a single minded focus upon the tasks that I have to do at this time. And a rapidly transforming world-view.
It’s frightening, and challenging to feel the power of living in a state of loving detachment – or at the very least, beginning to.
The fear is having that sense of power – the state of total fearlessness: I can determine what I want. I no longer need to be held back by the expectations of others. I can actually cut through the cords, the unspoken expectations and the weight of assumptions that so many human relationships are based upon. So much I thought I knew about people seems a false construct. Those assumptions no longer make sense to bear.
The fears I had about whether I gave too much? or too little? Just disappeared. The desire to Serve The She That is Me that is in Us All – the Dark Goddess in the Macrocosm and the Microcosm – has only intensified.
I feel as though I can face anything and have no reason to fear any longer. I am ready to begin my work.
Who knew that so much of my identity as I understood it before was held back due to a profound fear of being fearless?
And how, my evolution has begun to unfold once that fear of fearlessness was released.
I’ve spoken about the fear – but here comes the challenge:
The challenge is embodying detachment in a way that does not remove you from the core of your humanity, vulnerability and empathy. That does not remove you from alignment with a Truer Power or a Path. That does not simply legitimate the dictates of tyrannical ego bent upon forcing its will without regard for others. There are those who mask acts of cruelty, abandonment and neglect through the abuse of the energy of ’emotional detachment’ – and sometimes they wear the garb of ‘the spiritual teacher’.
So it’s really important to be able to tell the two apart – is this Spirit’s or the Ego’s understanding of ‘Detachment’?
Detachment is often confused with emotional disassociation and ‘being aloof’ – the two are very different things. For me, spiritual and emotional detachment is meaningless without retaining the ability to feel, to have compassion, to know Love.
Detachment is not an invitation to Apathy, Arrogance or Alienation (of Self or Others). It’s a strange place, and an experience or state of mind that I am ‘re-membering’. As one who has been a High Priestess in previous lives, this was/is my ‘natural state’ – it is familiar to my Soul, but my Ego is still taking it all in.
The world looks different. People look different. My view of relationships are wholly altered. All that is not Truth, simply has to go. All that is Real I am allowed to keep in my life.
On the one hand, this state of mind has only led me to greater compassion and love for the people in my life. There is an acceptance of things that I would have once hated, knowing that they do not affect my awareness of self, or identity in any way. So many fears I’ve had surrounding my path have just vanished.
But at the same there, there is also a commitment to voicing out the elephant in the room – for issues that I cannot simply be silent over. The things that really need me to do my job and speak out for.
Overall , this awakening has made me more committed to my path and more insistent on the idea that all Paths are to be respected. That ultimately, as we reach the Mountaintop (no matter the road we take), we Ultimately realize that there was never a Path, or a Mountain in the first place.
An acceptance of the need for form, and the ultimate nature of formlessness in one moment.
I realized all this yesterday at the movies. I went to see ‘Lucy’ with my parents (very synchronistic, if you’ve seen the film). And _before_ the film had a chance to start. BOOM! came this profound realization that …
Something has changed within me.
Image information – Tara_lithograph.jpg – By Chore Bagan Art Studio [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons