YOD IN THE SKY! HEADS UP: Karmic Breakthroughs and The Soulmate’s Lesson


Juno in Leo sextile the North Node – both inconjunct the Apex (Moon in Pisces), conjunct Chiron. Juno is also loosely conjunct Jupiter. 5:14 am – 3:25 pm, GMT + 8, 30th November 2014.

What this means is that Soulmate energies will come into your life at this time to help you integrate a New Form of Balance in your life. You will learn the meaning and necessity of appropriate boundaries. The lessons may, for some, feel painful – and if so do not fear for Chiron is right behind you. You can and will learn from the vulnerability that this alignment rekindles within. This is a powerful time to heal the Inner Child and its need for validation.

Because the North Node is involved, this is a karmic alignment, and the opportunity to explore new spiritual terrain. The soulmate (Juno) can appear as a child, a spiritual teacher, a lover, someone you hold close to your heart and cherish.

Be Authentic and Be Love – in whatever form that is appropriate.

All is Well.

Priestess Bairavee Balasubramaniam, PhD



It is curious how strongly we hold onto our deepest wounds. How they make us, shape us, break us – to the extent we allow them power over our lives. At once, we seek to transcend – emerging as the caterpillar from the chrysalis, the butterfly that makes it break from the cocoon. And in the same breath, a painful longing, a visceral yearning to go back into the past and mend the shattering of hopes, of love, of emotion. The irrational idea that somehow being better than you were Now, fixing whatever needed fixing in the present, could somehow magically alter the past.

Perhaps it does, in a parallel world .. but that is a different story. The past can never be altered, let’s get that straight – but its hold upon us, its impact upon our evolution, perception of life and path – going forwards – can be shifted.

Is it wrong to love, to attach to such powerful, life-shaping experiences? Is it wrong to want to turn back the clock and reinvent the Self?

No. It just means you’re human. It means you’re alive, and there is a part of you that greatly hopes, yearns and dreams for something different. It means there is a part of you that is unhealed – perhaps you understand it as a sense of ‘incompleteness’, or a dream that was unfulfilled.

That never goes away, it is never erased – but it can stop becoming the dominant theme of your life – with work, with time, and with healing. And perhaps, with the actions in the present, you can heal, and fulfill that which you desire the most. Albeit in a healthier way than the last time

To all those – like myself – now processing the deepest of wounds, the most tender of attachments now posing as shards of broken hopes – they are of course two sides of the same coin – the trick is to realize it and hold that paradox in place. Just as every beginning has the seed of the end and every end has the seed of a beginning. One of the many paradoxes that weaves its way through this Journey we call Life.

But what do you do with all that baggage? The refusal or seeming inability to ‘let it go’, even though one part of you is screaming out for it? The conundrum you face when release seems heartbreaking, but then, so too does continuance?

Fret not, for you still feel. You are still alive. Your dreams have not broken, and where there is a dream, there is a hope. A hope that exists even in the finest of dust that dances in the wind. But that Hope is within you. That Love, That Desire, That Yearning is a call only you can fill. Not the actions of another.

Allow yourselves to feel the unthinkable, turn towards the source of that pain and in it you will find a precious gift. A strength you never knew you had. Go into it, and let it teach you what it is that you truly seek through the experience you are re-living at this time. Chances are, it is a representation of something much larger – and one that you, yourself, in the Now can address, heal and acknowledge – as yourself.

For – as a friend of my said recently – all we really have, is Now

Blessings To All – and for all those in a similar situation of processing – I hope this message brings you some comfort, some guidance and some reassurance.

All is Well.

Priestess Bairavee Balasubramaniam, PhD

Image Information: [Partial image] Eros et thanatos.jpg – By Laure joy (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

THE RISE OF THE DARK PRIESTESS: Vesta conjuncts the Galactic Center and Black Moon Lilith shifts into Virgo

The Goddess Asteroid Vesta represents the Archetype of the Priestess. She calls us to find a path of faith, commitment, devotion, dedication – and equally of sacrifice – and – rejuvenation.

Conjunct the Galactic Center, Vesta calls us to learn from the Great/Grand Central Sun and the Black Hole at the Center of the Universe. We are called to balance the Polarities of Light and Dark – and to see the Healing and Wisdom within both.

She asks us to awaken to the Wisdom and Heritage of the Priestess.

Black Moon Lilith in Virgo reinforces the same energy – Here we are challenged to stand up and determine our own Sexuality, and Material Paths of Service.

Priestess Bairavee Balasubramaniam, PhD



The past couple of days I’ve seen spiritual writings saturated with the idea of ‘transforming’ or ‘transcending’ Darkness, and turning it into Light. Whilst I understand the basic idea behind it, I also feel compelled to share my take on it. This understanding is simply a restatement of the Binary/Duality that so much of Spirituality claims to want to transcend. The moment you ascribe normative values such as ‘good’ or ‘bad’ to experiences, and then classify them as ‘light’ and ‘dark’ – and then make narratives about which is better, which needs to be transcended, and which needs to be let go of – you’re still falling into the same trap of Judgment. (If we’re perfectly honest with ourselves — the kind of dissolution and transcendence that spirituality aspires to would require a transcending of ALL categories)

Think about it. At the end of the day, Light and Dark are different aspects of the same Reality. The moment we declare that one is somehow worse, weaker, or in need of ‘transmutation’ into the other, is the moment we officially declare war on a key aspect of our own complexity – and origins…

Now I know the idea that we’re all recycled stardust and beings of Light is true … (and I like that idea too) – but it’s also worth remembering that EVERYTHING came from Darkness.

Yes, we are children of the Supernova, but we are also descendants of a Time in which Light simply did not exist. We emerged out of that Primordial Abyss.

Those of us willing to experience ‘Darkness’ without the categories and narratives of ‘evil’ or ‘dense’ or ‘in need of transmutation’ – eventually come to the understanding that there was in fact, a Sacred, Holy Energy present in Our Collective Primordial Beginning. An energy that accompanies us through our lives, and which we return to in order to experience our most powerful moments of transformation.

Astrologers understand the pull of this energy, and the immense wisdom and cycles of learning it imparts – as expressed our recognition of points such as the Galactic Center (at 27 Sagittarius) and the Super-Galactic Center (at 1 Libra) – these are massive Black Holes which represent the energy of Spiritual Teaching (among other things) … Often, those tight aspects to these points have a strong connection with ‘Source’ (in spiritual parlance).

Spiritualists in shamanic and more ancient traditions also understand the role of the Holy Darkness, expressing this connection through the imagery of the Dark Womb of the Earth. Those who engage with the energies of the Crone, Dark and/or Warrior aspect of the Goddess will know exactly what I’m talking about. That place in which you are first discovered, nurtured, and then able to arise from (and return to, when need be).

One theory for the evolution of Life on this planet points to its origins in the deep hydrothermal vents, beneath the ocean’s floor. A very ‘dark’ place … a more relatable analogy is the how a seed must first be buried before it begins to grow…. Thinking about it… even the womb in which the human fetus gestates is … a familiar, comforting – individualized – expression and engagement with Primordial Darkness.

So no matter which perspective you look at – astrophysics, astrology, evolutionary anthropology, biology,ancient spirituality – and so on — Darkness has had a key role to play in the ‘beginning’ of Life and Existence as we know it.

So.. I’d say it’s not something to avoid – or (possibly worse) to patronize with ideas of ‘transmutation’ and ‘healing’ so it can then become ‘Light’. It is its own vibration – and one that we do not need to (and cannot) ‘light-wash’, lest we erase our own primordial origins in the process.

Darkness and Light do not share the relationship of Opposites as commonly understood – Darkness is not even the ‘absence’ of light – but the photonic saturation of Light Absorbed (thank you one of my commentors for pointing that juicy fact out)

And they really don’t share relationship of soap (Light) and grease (Dark), something which enough soap can ultimately get rid of…. That is exactly the kind of binary/heuristic duality that sprung the trap of Judgment in the first place.

Enjoy the Rainbows, Enjoy the Light – and for those of you in search of Totality … Enjoy the Sacred Darkness and all the Shades of Grey that dance between the two – whilst you’re at it.

Priestess Bairavee Balasubramaniam, PhD

Image: Illustration of a black hole and its surrounding disk.jpg – NASA, public domain



Astro-Update: At 5:55 pm today (23-11-14, GMT + 8), CHIRON WILL STATION DIRECT, ending its retrograde in Pisces. Yippee!!!!

Some of you will experience this as a re-triggering or re-cognition of old wounds coming to the surface to be experienced, released and transcended.

Remember that Chiron is the Wounded Healer. Whilst Chiron activations can be extraordinarily painful, the challenge (and gift) they hold arises through the experience of the Core Wound activated. This wounding keeps us in touch with our vulnerability and is a direct channel to our innermost depths.

It is important not to confuse Vulnerability with Victimhood. As old wounds rise to the surface for healing, remember that they are – at an esoteric level – wounds that you have chosen to experience so that you can then seek to transcend them, and learn from them.

Remember that you are the Co-Creator of your own Destiny. Remember that all that you experience is a part of your spiritual learning curve.

In Pisces, the ‘wounding’ is likely to be part of some aspect of your spiritual practice. Boundary-setting becomes an important recognition, as the need for a form, vessel, shape and material connection with your spiritual work.

As Chiron is involved in a yod with Pluto in Capricorn and Jupiter in Leo (trined Vesta in Sagittarius) — these lessons are likely to arrive ‘out of the blue’ (though some part of you knows they’ve been waiting to manifest in your consciousness for some time).

This is a profoundly karmic energy. Learn what you can. Be open to new understandings of Spiritual Pathways.

Remember that you are not a Victim by being Wounded…. or experiencing the Vulnerability that comes with it.

What you can be .. however… is a Teacher – if you are willing, able and honestly ready to look at the lessons and potential for healing those wounds carry.

Be kind to yourselves and others at this time – and as always.

Blessings to All.

Priestess Bairavee Balasubramaniam, PhD

Information on the Sagittarius New Moon, providing context for this energy –http://wp.me/p4OUNS-cq

Image Information: The Healing Touch, by Tim holmes.jpg – By Tim Holmes (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons


Sagittarius New Moon

Blessings to All. We’ve all felt the effects of this powerful New Moon in the sign of Sagittarius at 0 degrees. New Moons are portals for seeding intentions, which you can then see manifest or culminate during the corresponding (Sagittarius) Full Moon of that sign – in six months’ time. So this is a time to pay attention to the energetic intentions, commitments, affirmations that you are sending out into the Universe – at the Conscious and Sub-Conscious Level.

Sagittarius is linked with the energy of Growth, Expansion of Perception, Crossing Boundaries and Reaching for the Stars! (Yes it’s linked with Astrology as well). This also relates with matters of higher education, learning, teaching, foreign travel, or seeking structured tutelage in matters of Spirit. It is linked with the energy of the Guru, which is represented by deities such as Dakshinamoorthy (the ‘Teacher’ form of Lord Shiva). It can be any deity, from any pantheon, who represents the Pathway of Learning for you, irrespective of tradition. It can also refer to a physical guru, or teacher.

This New Moon amplifies the energies of pre-existing configurations in the sky – namely – the Great Goddess Fire Trine (Uranus Rx at 12 Aries trine Juno at 14 Leo trine Ceres at 10 Sagittarius) and the November-long Yod (Pluto at 11 Capricorn sextile Chiron Retrograde at 13 Pisces, both inconjunct Juno at 14 Leo) – I’ll provide links to these aspects for those who want more info.

In addition to all of this, this particular New Moon is opposed the Pleiades! Many of you who work with such energies would have had the chance to directly download information from the Seven Sisters Cluster and the energies associated with them. Both the New Moon and the Seven Sisters square Black Moon Lilith, creating a powerful T-Square – more on that below!

This is a particularly potent New Moon as the Sun and Moon conjunction are part of a large stellium involving Pallas Athena (at 14 Scorpio) , Mercury (at 21 Scorpio), Saturn (at 26 Scorpio), Venus (at 7 Sagittarius) and Ceres (at 10 Sagittarius)). Many different energetic influences are at play here, some of which provide a strong emphasis on Scorpio’s energies. So this is not your ‘typical’ Sagittarian energy. It’s one that keeps working upon the themes of the Underworld, the Sub-Conscious, issues of Power, Boundaries, Violation, Regeneration and Healing – through that process.

Both Chiron and Neptune in Pisces square Venus and Ceres in Sagittarius (at the time of writing this) – and so that tells me that many are finding significant challenges to the way they see their Spiritual Paths at this time. It’s a clear call to look at what ideas you have surrounding your path and whether you are attached to these ideas. It’s time to question those ideological attachments. Judgmentalism is on the cards – and many will be using the words of ‘Truth’ to justify the Ego.

Those with astrological placements near 9-13 Virgo or Gemini will either experience this as a Grand Mutable Cross or T-Square. Adaptation is the name of the game, and you need to leave your ego at the door to play it – you’ll be surprised at the rewards you uncover.

Juno, Jupiter (at 22 Leo) and Black Moon Lilith (at 29 Leo) are squared Pallas Athena, Mercury and Saturn in Scorpio. The tension is between the Fixed elements of Fire and Water. A challenge arises in terms of how we demonstrate and express our true, most vulnerable selves and how – at the same time – we maintain and uphold our energetic boundaries and integrity at the same time. The element of the Dark Feminine Rising is highlighted with Black Moon Lilith at 29 (Anaretic) Degrees Leo.

Those with astrological placements at or near 14 Taurus-1 Gemini and/or 14 Aquarius – 1 Pisces will experience this as a Grand Fixed Cross or a Fixed T-Square.

The Seven Sisters (Pleiades) Cluster is at 0 Gemini at this time. This feeds into the energies discussed. This is a perfect time to powerfully bridge and channel the teachings of Heaven and the Deep Earth. In truth, there is no Difference, except in Perception.

Pay attention to that suppressed feminine instinct, history or body or emotion at this time – This is her Final Roar before She enters Virgo in 5 days’ time. She will not return to Leo until January 2023.

Jupiter is inconjunct Mars (at 20 Capricorn) at this time – those with astrological placements at or near 20 Pisces will experience this as a powerful Yod or Finger of Fate pointing towards a key lesson or teaching in your sense of authenticity/vulnerability/inner child/sacral energy. The lesson is likely to come from a Teacher, who could also be your romantic partner – or even your child (as Leo is associated with all of this). The way you use your assertive energy is going to be scrutinized, and some fundamental way in which you conceptualize the idea of ‘achievement’ or ‘accomplishment’ is going to have to be transformed at this time.

Jupiter is also trined Vesta (at 24 Sagittarius) – again – the energy of the Priestess or Spiritual Facilitator comes in to shake up what you think you know about the Spiritual Path 😉 Stay open to the guidance that comes and question strong denials or over-identifications with any kind of Path at this time. (Even those who take the Title of Priestess or Spiritual Facilitator – make sure it’s coming from a place of Spirit, and not Egotism). Such checks are a natural and healthy part of your spiritual evolution, so don’t worry about it ❤

Uranus Retrograde is also inconjunct Pallas Athena. Those with astrological placements near 15 Virgo are going to experience this as a powerful Yod/Finger of Fate which directly relates to your ability to Connect from the ‘Higher’/Transcendental Mind. Awakenings are likely to occur in a powerful way, transforming the way you carry and embody your burgeoning Consciousness.

Pallas Athena in this potential yod speaks to the way we stand our ground and hold to our truths. But again – here lies the pitfall of judgment. Be sure that what or whom you stand for is aligned with Spirit, rather than the Ego. Priestesses and other Spiritual Facilitators are likely to feel this energy very powerfully as they will be asked to re-conceptualize their understanding and embodiment of The Path.

Finally – Goddessians will be pleased to note that Venus (at 7 Sagittarius) is now a part of the Great Goddess Fire Trine. This is a beautiful time to attract and manifest powerful teachings that will take you forward in your spiritual Journeys and connection with the Sacred Feminine. Be aware of the pitfall of the Ego-Identification that can equally result with Venus in this position.

To phrase it differently – What you think may not be true because it ‘feels’ pleasurable, or good, to think so. Venus enjoys her creature comforts and the values/mode of evaluation she stands for is one that will resist change unless you make the active choice to do so. Allow yourself to suspend your idea of what ‘must’ be Truth as you open yourself Up to the Divine.

Vanakam, Namaste and Blessings to All.

Priestess Bairavee Balasubramaniam, PhD

Links –
Great Goddess Fire Trine – http://wp.me/p4OUNS-bb
November’s Yod – http://wp.me/p4OUNS-b2


thanjavur bairavee

As Priestesses – what is it that we do? Do we hold someone’s hand and listen to them pour their hearts out? Do we just ‘talk straight’, and tell someone what they really need to hear? Do we heal? Do we inspire? Do we defend? Do we terrify? Do we help out behind the scenes or jump straight into the heart of things?

Yes…  Yes… and Yes ….

And a lot more besides …

Being a Priestess does not require a religion, or even any understanding of faith (as paradoxical as that sounds). Some Priestesses use a Title, and some others do not even recognize the construct – doesn’t stop them from being one though 😉 And both approaches are just as valid.

And just to be clear – whilst I tend to address my posts to all genders, this one has a strong emphasis on the Feminine. The Priest’s Path of Service tends to be slightly different – but those who have a balanced sense of Masculine/Feminine will be able to relate to this piece as well.

What I have seen across the board is this: Priestesses live day-to-day with eyes in this world and in plenty others simultaneously. They see the movement of Spirit, Divinity, Grace, Life through all that occurs and honor, amplify or simply recognize that movement through some form of Service. As a Priestess upholds, embodies and anchors that vibration of Living-in-Communion, she naturally becomes a beacon that others are drawn to – a Gateway, if you will – to Healing and Re-connection.

Sometimes it’s a pleasant process, and at other times, it can be extremely uncomfortable. Some Priestesses are gentler, others are harsher. Some see joy and life in the world, and others see the rot and are focused upon its healing. Sometimes both, and a lot more besides. There’s just no generalizing it.

You can find a Priestess in a hospital, in a church, in a pagan community, in a social care center, in parliament, in a corporation, in a mirror – anywhere where there is a Woman able to see this Movement/Vibration and Align herself with it.

But more than any of that – there’s the Devotion, or Dedication to a particular Cause, Vibration or Idea. In ancient times, many of us chose death over the forsaking of our beliefs; We chose our cause of devotion over much-desired love and comfort; We chose to walk the route that no one else dared or wanted to even approach (as so many awakening priestesses are beginning to remember).

Some of us continue to make those same choices. And in some parts of the world, it really is a matter of life-and-death. For most of us, the repercussions are nowhere near as dire. But that does not make our choices any less significant.

We see it when we are called to speak our Truth to friends, family, colleagues, lovers, and so on. We see it in our thoughts, emotions, ideas and very substance, or essence of Being.

A constantly running red thread … that keeps pulsing, as real as your heartbeat. The sound of an invisible drum, a rhythm your Soul keeps dancing to. Each footstep, each time you follow that thread – a Choice is Made.

At times these choices seems like Trials – Trials of Fire and Spirit that just keep you going forward, come what may. Some with more intensity, others less so (and both is fine).

The choices that come in our lives, which call us to always, always look at things from a Transcendent Perspective. We’re always called to take the ‘higher/deeper’ road – and nothing exists in half-measures.

There is this constant intensity – be if of joy, trials, sorrow, anger – or any other emotional state (sometimes all) as Priestesses begin to remember and embody their Sacred Archetypes.

It’s not all grim, but it’s not all cupcakes and roses either. There is a beauty to this path, but also a great striving that accompanies it – especially in the earlier phases of awakening.

In my case, I was recognized as a Priestess (without the title ever being used) by a spiritually attuned mother and a father who recognized me as his teacher (and I him) from infancy. Even so, Living the Path, has not been a walk in the park (and that too, is a part of my Service).

In my earlier years, given my name (Bhairavi – Destroyer of Obstacles, The Most Terrifying Aspect of Maha-Kali) and cultural background (where Goddesses are shown sticking tridents into and impaling ‘demons’) – the biggest lesson I had to learn was in the Mode, or Type of Service I was called to give. The ‘battle metaphor’ had to dissolve (which took some work, and the help of friends), till I was better able to see the full spectrum of things.

So here’s some of what I’ve learnt:

(1) Leaping into battle doesn’t always work. But neither does dropping all your defenses and walking in as the pacifist.

(2) Mediation, Healing and Transmutation isn’t always the best course of action (at least, not at first). Sometimes Defending, Protecting and Making a Boundary is.

(3) Holding your ground is right sometimes, but so is complete Surrender.

(4) Not backing down is just as valid as turning your back and walking away

(5) Not all crises are yours to solve, not all problems you encounter are a part of the work that you came to do.

(Sometimes we feel indispensable, and that too is a part of the ego learning that this Priestessing business is not something you can put in a box 😀 )

(6) There is no ‘one formula’ or ‘mode’ that can be used for every situation – nothing is generalizable

(7) The moment you think you ‘know’ something, the Universe shows up with a whole new thing for you to learn. It’s endless, and that’s a beautiful thing in itself.

I’d like to think that I integrate a wider repertoire of these responses in the current way I walk my path, and that I will continue to learn more as time progresses. My trident (claws/ferocity) is there in the background should I ever truly require it, but a more peaceful approach tends to solve most issues.

But one thing I have learnt through all of this is the following:

That there is no ‘default’ response for what a Priestess does, when she is Called to Serve. We are all different, and our Paths and Purposes are different – as are the wide range of situations we encounter in our individual lives.

So there is no need to generalize, to compare one’s path with another, or to try and create a ‘standard formula for Priestessing’.

Here’s what I wrote to a friend earlier today, on the same subject – and with these words I leave you to your thoughts:

At times we will be called into battle to seek the peace through mediation. And at other times, we will be called to fortify the defenses against assault. Sometimes it’s making sure the crops grow and people are safe. It’s very very relative.

 At times we burn, at times we heal, at times we stand our ground, or build bridges – and at times, we make sure we turn and never look back. All are necessary, all are equal, and all are …. specific to the circumstance.
* * *
Blessings to All,
Image Information: Me at Thanjavur Periya Kovil, 2010. (c) Bairavee Balasubramaniam


5 headed serpent shiva temple

Today I visited two temples with my dance teacher, my mum and my healer. It was an unlikely combination of people, but a group that was meant to visit these sacred spaces on an astrologically potent day. Today we had the Sun conjunct Saturn, the re-activation of the Great Goddess Fire Trine and a powerful T-Square between Mars and the North/South Nodes (see – http://wp.me/p4OUNS-c3 ). We visited a Shiva and Kali temple situated on a hill known as Bukit Gasing – and a small miracle occured 🙂

But first – some back-story … Re-wind to a week ago!

On November 11th, 2014, I was with my father and we were waiting for my healer to show up. His train was delayed, and so I suggested we visit some temples whilst waiting. We went to the (same) Shiva and Kali temple on Bukit Gasing – places I go to each time I get a chance – and strange and wonderful things happened.

The Shiva temple on Bukit Gasing is a place that I’ve visited since early childhood. The temple – back then – had a beautiful form, and I loved offering my prayers to a beautiful serpent mound therein. You had a view of Kuala Lumpur unlike any other, and truly you felt as though you were layers up into some other etheric place. It had an otherworldly feel to it, and in the best sense possible.

In recent years, the old temple was demolished to make way for a newer temple – a move which I felt wholly unnecessary (as I’d loved the old one in the first place). Due to structural issues, that too was demolished. And all that remains of both temples is a poignant mound of earth and rubble.

When my father and I went there on November 11th, something strange happened. We hadn’t twigged that it had all been demolished, and so Appa and I gazed upon the mound of earth in a mixture of shock and sadness.

But His vibration was there. In a poignant way, the Lord of Formlessness and Dissolution resided in a Temple with No Form.

All that remained of the Serpent Mound I used to offer my prayers to was a statue of a large 5-headed serpent made of cement (pictured below), hovering over a jasmine bush.

We headed a little further up the hill where priests had kept some idols in a very small mini-temple. The mini-temple housed the Shiva Linga, the row of gods around it, the Navagrahas (Nine Planets), Muneeswarar (an ancient Tamil god), Nagathampirar (the Serpent Lord), Bhairava (the fierce, wild, primordial form of Lord Shiva), Dakshinamoorthy (the ‘Guru’ form of Shiva), all placed in the size of a small living room.

Just before we went in, I noticed one of the priests looking at me in a curious way. I was clad in a long nehru-jacket style suit, with some trousers beneath it, showing maybe about … 1 inch of ankle?

The priest told me to grab an old piece of yellow cloth and tie it around my waist. I was confused at first, and frankly – he seemed the same. So I wore it around me, and as I’m tall, my ankles were still showing. So if it was for ‘modesty’ … it didn’t really help….

My dad looked amused as I shrugged at him and he said I looked like a priest as yellow is the sacred colour for the priesthood – as is white and saffron.

I was a little perplexed about the whole thing as I was the only person at the temple who was asked to wear this. I decided to consider it a form of His ‘Thiruvilaiyadal’ (Divine Play) and focus upon Lord Shiva Himself – and what a beautiful vision he granted me. I saw him as an endless form, so tall, so large, that there was simply not enough of Space in the Universe to contain to him. A beautiful, powerful vision, and one in which in I indicated my readiness to Serve in the ways I needed to.

Taking off the rough yellow cloth, I asked another priest why I had been handed it … He said something about wearing it when one wears ‘half-length trousers’ …. Which made absolutely no sense. Frankly … there was confusion in the air, and I decided that it was Fate that I had to wear a garment handed by a priest.

We then went to the Shivabhatrakaliamman Temple, dedicated to Mother Kali. The temple is also located on Gasing Hill, beneath the Shiva temple. We’d passed by this temple for years, until 2-3 years ago I asked my older brother to take me there. And what I found myself looking at was a 7 ft tall statue of the Mother standing in all Her beauty and Glory. Over the years, I’ve come to realize that this is the only temple I know of in this country who honors the essence of Bhairavi (after whom I am named), and which plans to conduct the ‘Linga Bhairavi (Bhairavi in the Shiva Lingam) Pooja’.

So when I went to see her on November 11th with my dad, I was surprised that she told me to ‘Go and come back in a week’s time’. I paid my respects to the other deities Durga Maa, Shangalli Karuppan / Madurai Veeran / Muniswaran (ancient Tamil gods), Vinayagar (Ganapathi), Nagalinga (The Serpent Lord) and of course, Pechaiamman (The Grandmother / Crone / Healer Goddess). I got the same message from Pechaiamman as well – to ‘Go and come back in a week’s time’.

I continued my worship of the Navagrahas (9 Planets), walked around the main altar thrice, and payed my respects to the Chinese shrine integrated as part of the Temple (that happens in this country, I think it’s cool). As I was headed to the Serpent Goddess’ Shrine (where there is a towering 5-headed serpent sculpture hovering over the Goddess’ image and a beautiful Serpent Mound) — I noticed something new at the temple.

A new alcove had been opened, and in it – two fierce, black-skinned, wild, primordial paintings of Lord Bhairava (Shiva) and Goddess Bhairavi (Kali). The were life-sized drawings in a small room with a single lime on the ground, surrounded by the red powder (vermillion / kungkumam) and a lowly placed red light. I felt at home .. I felt as though THIS was the reason why I’d been told to keep ‘Going’ through the temple.

I paid my respects to the Serpent Mother and my dad and I left to pick up the healer (whose delay made this visit possible). Right next to the train station was another Goddess temple … in fact, the same temple in which my grandparents got married. So … my dad knowing what I’m like, pulled the car over so I could go in and pay my respects.

As soon as I stepped inside, I realized the temple was conducting special prayers for Goddess Pratangyira Devi (whom I’d shared an image of just a few days prior – she is the Lion-Headed Goddess, also linked with the energy of Bhairavi) and for Gayatri Devi (the feminine Principle in Unified form). I spent quite a while walking around and praying to all of the gods, much to the curiosity of a small child whose eyes kept following my movements.

I was told to return in a year’s time, on Nov 11th 2015. Goddess knows what’s in store for me then.

Fast forward to the present … a week later … Nov 18th. Only a few days ago (after I’d been told to go back to the temple on the 18th) did I realize the astrological significance of the date. I’d only had about 2 hours of sleep as – try as I might – I wasn’t able to upload a video on the most recent transits.

My mum, who normally doesn’t travel much decided to come along as I’d told her about the Bhairavi shrine. My dance teacher provided the transport and my healer arranged to meet to us.

There was so, so much traffic but we had the sense of … being able to make it to the temples (on Bukit Gasing) on time.

We went to the ShivaBhatraKaliamman temple first, to see Mother. I prayed to my heart’s content, with an oil lamp in my palm, walking around the whole premises. I felt peaceful, and at exactly the right place and the right time. I had the sense She was pleased, and kept walking around. My party was joyful and moved by the Bhairava-Bhairavi shrine and the other installations at the temple.

I spoke briefly to the priest there (who knows who I am) and he explained that the Shrine was opened only 4-5 months ago. It was where Maha-Kali was originally placed before being shifted to Her present location. Now typically, Hindu temples have a trishulam (trident) representing Lord Bhairava-Shiva towards the outer section of a temple. He represents the protection of Boundaries.

But Bhairavi? Here’s the first time I’d seen her represented alongside Him.

The priest explained – as with the name of the temple itself (Shiva-BhatraKali-Amman Temple), that their rationale was that Bhairava/Bhairavi (Shiva/Shakti) ought not to be separated. They needed to be represented together.

A temple after my own heart ❤ ❤ ❤ , in other words.

But that wasn’t all…

She told me to do an Archana (where you buy a ticket and the priest says some prayers for you, giving you some fruits and thunooru (holy grey ash) and kungkumam (vermillion, red powder) to take home).

This is unusual for me as I tend to do my prayers myself. But it was a clear missive, and so I did.

I had my party (myself, mum, my dance teacher, my healer) hold the silver tray together as we stated our names and Signs/Ascendants for the archana.

Here’s where it got strange. The priest (a different person from the one I spoke to) looked somewhat off-balance – like he was being disturbed by something. The mantras did not match the gods he prayed to, and Dakshinamoorthy (the ‘Guru’ form of Lord Shiva) was left out of it. My dance teacher and I were listening and observing and knew something strange was at work…

Again, Thiruvilaiyadal (Divine Play), this time by the Mother.

I waited till Dakshinamoorthy was honored, and realized that he’d forgotten to give us the customary fruits and powders you get when you buy an archana ticket. I said no matter, and made to leave.

Suddenly … he remembered and he did something most unusual.

He took a the usual fruits and such, but …

He Also Took the Bangles Placed at the Feet of the Mother. And handed my M/mother a Lime.

The Lime was one that had been on Her Trident (we later discovered).

(For context, you don’t get those Bangles when you go to a temple — those are for Her! The same with the Lime!)

It was a tremendous Blessing … and one that was new to us all (having traveled in India and other sacred sites).

But here’s where it gets even more powerful.

My mum – as she was praying to the Grandmother Goddess (Pechaiamman), had offered her bangles (which is something people do). There was no way the priest could have seen as Pechaiamman’s alcove is towards the back of the temple. (and it’s not something you get a trade for). People leave their bangles when they pray for children, or for other specific wishes.

My mum didn’t say a word, till she got glass bangles (from the feet of the Mother herself) ….

Now if that’s not a miracle, I don’t know what is.

We then went to the Shiva temple, further up the hill. I was extremely tired (with only 2 hours of sleep) and the hill isn’t an easy climb. I knew if I lagged, I’d feel the pain more … and so I began chanting the Shiva Tandava Strotam … and shot up the hill, faster than my dance teacher and healer. They were as surprised as I was 😀

The priests gave us the same curious, slightly puzzled look – and no yellow cloth today. I could feel their stares upon me as I was walking around and offering my prayers. My dance teacher and I performed pranayam as the temple was closing – and – one again, another beautiful vision. Which I shall share when the time is right.

We had some prasadam in the form of ponggal (sweet rice) from the temple and vadai (a savoury donut) and walked back down the hill. I touched the soil of the rubble, feeling His presence within once more.

So all in all, Miracles and the Love of the Divine.

Om Namah Shivaya.
Om Shakti.

Blessings and Love to All,

Priestess Bairavee Balasubramaniam, PhD


16 18 nov 14

At 9:34 am, November 16th 2014 (GMT + 8), exactly 12 hours after the Neptune Retrograde ended, a powerful yod formed in the skies. The Virgo Moon sextiled Mercury (11 Sco) and Pallas Athena (12 Sco), both forming inconjuct aspects to Uranus Retrograde (13 Ari). This yod will remain in the skies until 1:39 am, November 17 2014 (approximately 9.5 hours from now).

As you know, the skies are currently lit up with all kinds of different configurations (which I’ve written about on my blog) – so to avoid repetition, I’ll just focus on newer configurations.

This Yod (Finger of Fate) creates a critical decision point/karmic point of transcendence or further entrenchment in the way we access the qualities of ‘Higher’ Consciousness or ‘Higher’ Mind.

Our connection with Source ‘Out There’ as opposed to Source ‘Within’ is being pushed to a whole other level. In the sign of Aries, we are likely to feel the effects of this yod as an opportunity to transform, to revolutionize, to discover a whole new way in which we embody ‘I AM Consciousness’.

Many will see key breakthroughs in their sense of self at this time – as whole new chapters of their Soul’s awakening begin to emerge.

With the Virgo Moon, the energy of one’s emotions, subconscious attachments and intuitive faculties are likely to be focused upon the Here-And-Now – what needs doing, who needs serving, what’s right/what isn’t, what’s the best way to deal with something from a practical perspective, etc.

On the other hand, sextiling the Moon, the conjunction of Pallas Athena and Mercury are focused on different things.

Pallas Athena is giving you the courage to speak up about what your feelings, rights, entitlements and perspectives are surrounding a situation with an intimate/sexual and/or financial partner of some kind.

She slams her spear into the ground to create a boundary and says: Do not cross, lest I call you to do so. Remember that She is the Goddess of Healing, Wisdom _and_ War – it’s probably wise to honor that boundary and to assert the same for yourself..

Mercury similarly focuses upon the communicative, intellectual and analytical faculties that Pallas Athena embodies. In the realm of Scorpio, the energy of the Messenger allows you to access different layers or parts of yourselves at this time, facilitating a more holistic, integrated response to whatever situation of crisis/karmic challenge you face.

Whilst this is a powerful opportunity to transform one’s notion of Self, even the health of the physical body (depending on your chart), it may be experienced painfully by many – owing to the Moon’s opposition with Chiron Retrograde ( 5:41 pm, November 16, 2014, GMT + 8) at 13 Vir/Pis ’07.

This opposition is likely to take on the classic Pisces/Virgo dynamic which – as I understand it – places two different approaches the spiritual journey in (unnecessary) opposition.

Think of Pisces as the tsunami, ultimately washing away all need for Form, Structure, Boundary and knows no Time. In contrast, Virgo represents the Priest/ess holding his or her ground, ensuring that energies are encoded in material form, serving in the present moment, the Here and Now.

They seem like opposites, but truly, they are complements to one another. I see it as a different expression of the Shiva-Shakti dynamic.

Those who feel particularly ungrounded or vulnerable at this time are advised to treat themselves gently and/or to seek reliable support groups. Try not to give into escapist tendencies – be they expressed through substance abuse, food binges, over-working, etc.

If you can, face the energies these aspects unleash, and allow yourself to learn their lessons – and if that’s not possible, don’t worry about it – just make sure you are in a well-supported situation.

You will learn what you need for your journey ahead, when you need to. No rush.

Be aware that Mercury will conjunct Pallas Athena at 9:29 am November 17th (12 Sco ’30) – you may well find the words and the strategy to deal with the intimate situation highlighted by the yod (possibly even earlier!).

Also note that the Sun is preparing for its annual conjunction with Saturn at 25 Scorpio ’56 – This will take place at 4:47 pm, November 18. I expect many of you to be already feeling the focus upon some kind of element of restriction or obstacle perceived within intimate partnerships, energetic/resource sharing arrangements and such.

All of this emphasis on Scorpio will certainly require you to look within the ‘Shadow’ Self, in a direct and disciplined manner.

It’s time to look in the darkness, only to realize that there is – Nothing To Fear. This is a profound opportunity for you to address issues deeply buried within your sub-conscious with the Light of Awareness (Sun) present in this conjunction.

Mars (17 Cap ’15) will will make a T-square with both the North and South Nodes (17 Lib/Ari ’15) at 5:42 pm, November 18. Those with placements at or near 17 Ari/Can/Lib/Cap will feel this as either a Cardinal T-Square or Grand Cardinal Cross!

This is powerful Nodal energy which hints at a karmic situation involving (1) a male romantic partner/the partner playing the ‘masculine role’ (2) one’s animus (male aspect of psyche) which we can interpret as reflections of our connection with the Divine Masculine within. The partner/s we attract externally tell us something about this Inner Connection – strongly emphasized during this alignment.

So, all in all – it’s a very busy sky at the minute! Here’s yesterday’s article which tells you more about Neptune stationing Direct, other aspects still playing their roles in the sky, and the Awakening of the Masculine Principle – http://wp.me/p4OUNS-bX

And… I’ve saved the best for last. Those with astrological placements at or near 11-12 degrees Cancer AND 11-15 Taurus will feel this as a GRAND SEXTILE. Happy Manifesting!

Blessings and Joy to All!

Priestess Bairavee Balasubramaniam, PhD


Neptune Retrograde Ends

At 9:34 pm, November 15 2014 (GMT + 8), Neptune’s retrograde officially ended (4 Pisces ’48). This is a phenomenal shift in terms of the energy we experience on a day-to-day basis. Neptune Retrograde in its home sign of Pisces has – for the past few months – been teaching us to get harder, edgier, and more critical (in the analytical) sense about our spiritual understandings. It’s been a rough ride for many as all forms of illusion, no matter how beautiful they may have seemed had to break.

Neptune will station direct for a little while longer before it begins its normal motion. In direct form, its energy allows for a little more softness in our spiritual journeys where everything does not have to be defined in terms of harsh truth. We begin to see the beauty in that truth and the ephemeral qualities it brings to our lives. From a strongly internal focus upon ourselves, we will begin to move outwards and seek external sources for inspiration, and connection with more transcendental understandings of the Spiritual. I expect to see many boundary-crossing works of art and other forms of inspired creation be birthed at this time – just as many will see the dissolution of many fallacies held close to one’s heart.

As this directional shift was going on, know that we also had a powerful Neptune-Moon opposition take place at the same time. The Moon was in Virgo, seeking to attend to the more practical details of life, setting necessary boundaries and searching for ways to nurture self – and others (ideally in a position of balance). Neptune shifting signs in Pisces would have had the opposite effect.

Many emotional decisions are likely to have been made now, some leading to the dissolution of older ties and bonds, linked by the energy of care-taking, or the (imbalanced) quality of Subservience (as opposed to Spiritual Service/Facilitation) – especially for those with natal placements anywhere near 4-5 degrees Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius, Pisces.

This is further emphasized by Jupiter (21 Leo) trining Vesta (20 Sag) as the energy of the Guru/Guide energizes the archetype of the Spiritual Facilitator (Vesta), often associated with the energy of Sacrifice. This would have been most keenly felt in romantic partnerships and also in the nature of a parent-child relationship.

Soulmate partnerships and dynamics are under particular scrutiny at this time as Juno (13 Leo) is seriously activated by several intense configurations at this time – the Great Goddess Fire Trine, the Cauldron and November’s Mega Yod (check out my blog for info on each of these aspects if you’re interested).

Black Moon Lilith (28 Leo) also squares Venus (29 Scorpio), indicating powerful dynamics within romantic and financial partnerships which are being challenged by the wilder, primordial, irrepressible strength of Black Moon Lilith. Kali energy rises in many partnerships, now, in other words – and it is best to honor that energy seeking to express the truth of itself. Those with planets at or near 28-29 Aquarius or Taurus will feel this as a powerful Fixed T-Square or Grand Fixed Cross.

Venus at 29 Scorpio (the Anaretic degree) itself pushes us to a point of finality or culmination in some key aspect of deep, intimate partnerships. It can also refer to the way energies and funds are merged in businesses involving another person’s money (trusts, mergers, etc.).

There a bunch of other aspects also operating in the skies which amplify what has already been said and expressed. All in all, not an easy time for partnerships of any kind. With Neptune ending its retrograde, a lot of illusions (if any were left) or inappropriate attitudes/perspectives taken about partnerships will be severely challenged at this time. Some may seek to escape, retreat into their own inner worlds because the tension may be too much – if this sounds like you, surround yourself with friends and stay away from overly taxing emotional encounters. (Make your need for space and retreat known first – to avoid over-complicating an issue).

In general, rest – relax – and take a ‘time-out’ if you have to, taking this massive shift into account. It’s also a time for massive spiritual re-awakening and — a fantastic call for the awakening of the compassionate aspect of the Divine Masculine. I associate Neptune’s energies with those of Lord Shiva – and it does seem to bear fruit at this time.

The asteroid Siva (representing His energies at 18 Sag) is sextiled the North Node (17 Libra). Those with astrological placements at or near 17-18 Taurus will feel this as a powerful Yod (Finger of Fate) which will open a new chapter in your spiritual lives.

Blessings to all, and I hope this report helps you make sense of the current energies.

Priestess Bairavee Balasubramaniam, PhD

Shiva image: Lord Shiva at Murudeshwar, Karnataka..jpg – By Abhijeetsawant (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

Graphic: Neptune Retrograde Ends 2014 + Lord Shiva. jpg – By Bairavee Balasubramaniam (Own work) – [CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)]