You were sacrificed before. Maybe many times.
Your soul got used to it, Maybe you thought it was ´normal´.
You´re trying to do it again.
Short, but an answer that has deep resonance, especially for those who resonate with the archetype of the sacrificial virgin / priestess. Unpack it a little more, and you find your own reasons.
In this context, ´normal´ doesn´t mean good, bad, desirable, healthy, unhealthy, hateable – it just means that you got used to a certain vibration. And internalized it. Perhaps it´s a fixation to break through it, perhaps it´s a conviction that it´s true, or good. Perhaps it´s a need to understand it.
Whatever it is, it´s an attachment to a particular experience. And the soul attracts people, events and opportunities to once again re-live it.
Truly, it´s an argument you can make for any type of karmic lesson that keeps appearing in life. Sometimes it may seem like an unlucky streak ´this always happens to me´ .. i always end up with that kind of person ´, or really, anything that you just find yourself pulled towards without reason or explanation, as though by magic. Sometimes it´s a nice kind of pull, but more often than not – it tends to reflect what we see as our wounds, weaknesses, vulnerabilities.
Karmic attachments are things that exert a powerful pull on our psyches as we seek to understand the why and wherefores behind them. We subconsciously choose these experiences in a bid to gain a more complete experience. Ultimately, to transcend the need to experience it entirely (so the theory says).
These choices we make, which we mystify as ´karma´ , are buried in the subconscious. That doesn´t mean they are beyond our ability to understand and ultimately move past.
It´s time to stop mystifying and romanticizing choices that lead us unto paths of pain as being somehow fated, destined and/or sacred. Or simply things that we cannot change in ourselves.
Whether it´s the past-life trauma of being sacrificed or persecuted, or wounds that surround any kind of recurring lesson surrounding pain – taking a step back to understand why you may be making those choices does help. It stops you from feeling like the Universe hates you, or as though you are some pawn of Fate, moving without your own free will.
For me, at least, that has been one of the deeper realizations of my life thus far. At the day-to-day level, it has helped me to question those things which I felt drawn to, like a moth to a flame – as though I were being drawn into something I could not (ought not) question, or walk away from.
And many of the choices I have made, from taking that moment to detach – from realizing that I had a choice to let this energy into my space, or not – have led to healthier life choices. Ones that have made me feel more fulfilled as a woman and a spiritualist.
There are of course, inexplicably beautiful and powerful moments in which our souls attune to experiences of the Sublime. Those are, for me at least, qualitatively different from the karmic attractions that lead on down repetitive cycles of wounding, grief and a sense of limitation we normally associate with ´spiritual karma´.
I suspect we will see more of the former and less of the latter the moment we realize the power of our own choices in co-creating all that we experience, with whatever it is we consider the Essence of the Sacred.
Image Information: Cornelia, the Vestal Virgin, entombed alive surrounded by bones in the dungeon. Line engraving by G. Machetti after B. Pinelli – See page for author [CC BY 4.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0)], via Wikimedia Commons
Post © Bairavee Balasubramaniam, 2016. All rights reserved.
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