Spiritual growth is rarely comfortable, especially when you’re working through deeply entrenched patterns in your psyche and family ancestry – or are in karmically-bound relationships.
You might wonder why it’s so tough to shift. Especially at the start of the process.
You can describe that as the heavy weight of karma.
You can equally describe that as a clash between your conscious and subconscious mind.
Consciously, so many of us speak the words of spiritual liberation and self-assertion ..
Which is great if that were the only part of you interacting and Co-Creating with Spirit.
But beneath the surface …
Unconsciously, so many of us are still operating or running the same scripts that get us to self-sabotage, go back to the same relationships over and over again, forgo growth opportunities, re-create (and re-inforce) old wounds, … et cetera.
A lot of that has to do with the way we evolved for survival. And that’s a much much longer discussion on neurobiology, the amygdala and formation of neural pathways – especially in the presence of trauma in the childhood home or generational line, etc. And it’s a huge subject in itself.
Bringing it back to topic …
When one is of two minds, the greatest and clearest spiritual guidance delivered in the sweetest of ways is still going to feel like shit. The kind that hits you right in the gut.
The most useful pieces of advice are going to feel like they’re too tough, critical or challenging to follow.
And you’re going to find every reason to avoid making that change. And every emotion to make you feel justified in your choice.
(And no, not every feeling you have is coming from your Spirit … Some of it is just Ego-Mind-Baggage. Differentiating the two is part of the journey of spirituality)
But when you feel bad at the prospect of change.. It’s easy to shy away from the work that needs doing…
This is how cognitive dissonance occurs.
This is why recovering from an addiction isn’t a walk in the park.
This is why facing what we fear is so challenging.
This is why change can feel so uncomfortable.
Things can feel very rough.
And you’ll be tempted to go back to square one …
Because hey that’s familiar. And even if it’s terrible, the idea of change is just wayyy too uncomfortable. Or scary.
You can absolutely convince yourself of the truth of these responses and decide not to act.
Which is why so many prefer to avoid truths that confront them.
( I don’t blame em … This is hard work ! )
But when you take a step back, you can see why the sub-conscious induces those responses. And when you understand that mechanism, maybe your perception towards change .. can change.
The Sub-Conscious mind keeps the old scripts, energies, baggage and karma that we carry from previous life-times and the waters of our ancestral connections.
Not all that it carries is useful or benevolent.
It just keeps replaying all that stuff, only some of which reach the conscious level. But so much of it stays hidden – and it becomes easier to confuse a defensive or fearful emotional reaction with what you think you want/are/can become.
The sub-conscious script tries to preserve the ‘self’ that it knows, by keeping things as is. (Hence karma)
The work of spirituality – on the other hand – is to dissolve that false idea of self through the deconstruction of the Ego.
Of Course Your Sub-Conscious Programs Are Going To Resist It.
Of Course Emotional Programs That Have Been Conditioned To Respond In A Certain Way Are Going To Dislike It.
You’re literally trying to write a new script for an old program that part of you assumes is legitimate, true, possibly even authentic. That includes trauma and the way we make karmic choices that mirror past lives and/or ancestral lines.
If you’ve ever experienced or spoken to someone who stayed through years of domestic abuse and violence … You know what I mean.
The mind comes up with every rationalization or justification possible to stay where a person is. Even if it’s literally killing them. Even if the abuse is plain for all to see. And they end up distancing friends and family who tell them otherwise. It’s a painful situation all around. It almost feels like you’re talking to someone under a spell.
That’s an extreme example, but a powerful one.
Sometimes we keep telling ourselves to stay with the familiar, even if it rips us apart.
And so much of that has to do with trauma bonding and epigenetics – none of this is something a person would choose to do willingly and freely. Especially if they believed they had different choices and that they could make them.
And that’s why this discussion is so important. And I’ve made the same points in several different ways.
Belief in the capacity of change is the precursor to change itself.
Without that, making change can seem like an insurmountable obstacle.
But once you do make that leap.
Once you do decide to believe that change is possible.
Once you decide that you are more than the sum of your inherited beliefs, programs, ancestry and karma…
Once you acknowledge that some of your feelings around change as just part of a defensive mechanism…
That’s when the shift happens.
And change doesn’t have to be (as) uncomfortable or scary as it once was.
In fact, you might even see the blessing in that discomfort or fear.
Don’t let it hold you back. It’s a sign that you’re winning. You’re getting through to the deeper mechanisms that want you to stay put.
Use it as a catalyst. And keep on moving.
Dr. Bairavee Balasubramaniam PhD
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