YOU DO NOT NEED TO TRANSCEND YOUR DARKNESS. OR ERASE IT. OR LIGHT IT UP SO IT RUNS AWAY….

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The past couple of days I’ve seen spiritual writings saturated with the idea of ‘transforming’ or ‘transcending’ Darkness, and turning it into Light. Whilst I understand the basic idea behind it, I also feel compelled to share my take on it. This understanding is simply a restatement of the Binary/Duality that so much of Spirituality claims to want to transcend. The moment you ascribe normative values such as ‘good’ or ‘bad’ to experiences, and then classify them as ‘light’ and ‘dark’ – and then make narratives about which is better, which needs to be transcended, and which needs to be let go of – you’re still falling into the same trap of Judgment. (If we’re perfectly honest with ourselves — the kind of dissolution and transcendence that spirituality aspires to would require a transcending of ALL categories)


Think about it. At the end of the day, Light and Dark are different aspects of the same Reality. The moment we declare that one is somehow worse, weaker, or in need of ‘transmutation’ into the other, is the moment we officially declare war on a key aspect of our own complexity – and origins…

Now I know the idea that we’re all recycled stardust and beings of Light is true … (and I like that idea too) – but it’s also worth remembering that EVERYTHING came from Darkness.

Yes, we are children of the Supernova, but we are also descendants of a Time in which Light simply did not exist. We emerged out of that Primordial Abyss.

Those of us willing to experience ‘Darkness’ without the categories and narratives of ‘evil’ or ‘dense’ or ‘in need of transmutation’ – eventually come to the understanding that there was in fact, a Sacred, Holy Energy present in Our Collective Primordial Beginning. An energy that accompanies us through our lives, and which we return to in order to experience our most powerful moments of transformation.

Astrologers understand the pull of this energy, and the immense wisdom and cycles of learning it imparts – as expressed our recognition of points such as the Galactic Center (at 27 Sagittarius) and the Super-Galactic Center (at 1 Libra) – these are massive Black Holes which represent the energy of Spiritual Teaching (among other things) … Often, those tight aspects to these points have a strong connection with ‘Source’ (in spiritual parlance).

Spiritualists in shamanic and more ancient traditions also understand the role of the Holy Darkness, expressing this connection through the imagery of the Dark Womb of the Earth. Those who engage with the energies of the Crone, Dark and/or Warrior aspect of the Goddess will know exactly what I’m talking about. That place in which you are first discovered, nurtured, and then able to arise from (and return to, when need be).

One theory for the evolution of Life on this planet points to its origins in the deep hydrothermal vents, beneath the ocean’s floor. A very ‘dark’ place … a more relatable analogy is the how a seed must first be buried before it begins to grow…. Thinking about it… even the womb in which the human fetus gestates is … a familiar, comforting – individualized – expression and engagement with Primordial Darkness.

So no matter which perspective you look at – astrophysics, astrology, evolutionary anthropology, biology,ancient spirituality – and so on — Darkness has had a key role to play in the ‘beginning’ of Life and Existence as we know it.

So.. I’d say it’s not something to avoid – or (possibly worse) to patronize with ideas of ‘transmutation’ and ‘healing’ so it can then become ‘Light’. It is its own vibration – and one that we do not need to (and cannot) ‘light-wash’, lest we erase our own primordial origins in the process.

Darkness and Light do not share the relationship of Opposites as commonly understood – Darkness is not even the ‘absence’ of light – but the photonic saturation of Light Absorbed (thank you one of my commentors for pointing that juicy fact out)

And they really don’t share relationship of soap (Light) and grease (Dark), something which enough soap can ultimately get rid of…. That is exactly the kind of binary/heuristic duality that sprung the trap of Judgment in the first place.

Enjoy the Rainbows, Enjoy the Light – and for those of you in search of Totality … Enjoy the Sacred Darkness and all the Shades of Grey that dance between the two – whilst you’re at it.

Priestess Bairavee Balasubramaniam, PhD
www.bairaveebalasubramaniam.com

Image: Illustration of a black hole and its surrounding disk.jpg – NASA, public domain

BEING IN A STATE OF GRACE: A MESSAGE OF BALANCE

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As the veil of illusion dissolves, you become aware of your intrinsic Divinity. You realize that you are not just a part of All-That-Is, but All-That-Is is also, equally, a part of you. You are the Divine and the Divine is you.

Most people have experienced this profound sense of clarity at least once in their lives. We label those who exist in this vibration all of time as Ascended Beings.

We can call this an internal alignment, integration or Awareness-of-Oneness – when it feels as though the turning wheels of the heavens, the vibrations of the Earth, the longings of your Deepest Self all levels of your Awareness rest on one perfect place.

The Universe can not only be seen in a grain of sand, it becomes that grain, and that grain is You.

To me – this inner alignment constitutes what we call ‘living or being in a State of Grace’. It flows just as true for the being who stands up to injustice, or watches over a loved one, a being who smiles at a sunflower or dances with the deep, wild night, a figure in prayer, a figure who rises in protest.

It matters not what form it takes on the outside, or how that form is judged by others – only that it resonates and echoes with you in that most sacred alignment of Self and Cosmos. Grace wears many faces and takes many forms, yet through it all – it vibrates with a particular frequency or energetic signature that is Universal.

You can think of it as a fluid movement or flow of energy through you. Perfectly poised, balanced, effortless. Especially in moments where such balance is deemed impossible, like the stones on this image.

These moments of heightened clarity are ones in which our actions feel somehow destined. There is generally a sense of calmness and detachment, even when engaging in the most dynamic activity. And a profound sense of peace. No Ego, No I, Nothing. Only that which must be done.

~ Priestess Bairavee Balasubramaniam, PhD
www.bairaveebalasubramaniam.com

RELATED LINK:

I discuss this and other topics on the re-emergence of Balance, specifically through the rising of the Feminine as part of a panel of wise women: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/sacredwomanorganization/2014/10/08/a-heart-to-heart-with-bairavee-balasubramaniam

Image: Stone & Rock Balancing Inuksuk style.jpg – By Peacefulmovements (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

A PRIESTESS ON THE PATH OF FORMLESSNESS AS TAUGHT BY THE DARK MOTHER

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Recent weeks have really opened up a whole new chapter in my life and my Understanding of Spirit. I began my journey as a Priestess in the Service of the Dark Mother (which – for new readers – has absolutely nothing to do with Evil). I thought that my role was to speak out for the re-institution of the tradition of the Priestess, and the many discriminatory practices that surround so many faith-based practices and texts. I still see that as my role, but the way I interpret it has changed dramatically.

These changes began in Nepal, when I both died and fell in Love with a sacred site to Lord Shiva I found through pure instinct (with no conscious clues of any description). Something in me could no longer exclusively identify with a Female conception of Divinity as somehow superior to the male. Or to ignore that aspect of Spirit. Lord Shiva has always featured in my life some how, but it was that experience that really cemented the indivisibility between the Masculine, the Feminine and my Path.

Recently, another shift has happened. God and Goddess made sense before – and now they don’t – not in the same way they did before. The balance of dual energies seemed like the pinnacle, and now they just seem like one part of many. Deities, and demigods that seemed to be the end-all, now look as though they are intermediate facilitators – or perhaps partial reflections – of a more Transcendental Energy.

I don’t deny their existence or their value in the spiritual path, only that they occupy a different space in my understanding of the Cosmos than they did before. An in some way, that re-framing makes their Presence even more palpable.

Rather than looking for the Divine ‘out there’, my focus has always been within. Despite my academic background, the direction of my spiritual growth has rarely been through the Mind to the Heart, but from the Womb to the Heart to the Mind – in the spirit of a very feminine process of gnosis. So not so much about the abstract concepts or the words or ideologies, but all of this knowing and re-knowing and learning and un-learning has been prompted by whatever spiritual Curriculum my Soul chose to manifest. And for me the guide or pathway to this understanding has been through the Dark Goddess – particularly in her Crone Aspect.

The more I realize, the less I ‘know’. I hope that makes sense. All of this is felt change, change the body and the womb stir me into re-membering, rather than the rationalizing attempts of a mind. But the more I feel, the more logical it seems. And this whole Rational-Emotional divide seems less and less relevant.

Perhaps I’m at the start of what many are calling 5D evolution? Perhaps my consciousness is beginning to understand what lies beyond dualism? Maybe even a glimpse of Reality behind the Veil?

Who knows. I’m just going with the flow. And not letting me get ahead of myself. There’s too much for me to discover for me to assume that I can authoritatively say ‘This Is It’.

So I’ve been thinking about how to define myself and my path – as it is now, and believe you me – it will evolve — And here are the key components of it so to speak:

(1) Authenticity: If it isn’t you, don’t do it, don’t be it. Just be you.
(2) Vulnerability: If it hides you away from your wounds (healing and transcending is a different process), then something’s up – if it gives you a false sense of superiority, invincibility or security – then something’ s definitely up
(3) Integrity & Honesty (Related to Authenticity, but not quite the same thing – you could be an Authentic Jerk… )
(4) Non-permanence and Formlessness: The Universe is a pretty big place. I doubt Divinity looks Human, if it has a shape at all. With so much going on, and Energy shifting the way it does (call it Spirit) — I would somehow be uncomfortable with an idea of a Stable, Eternal, Absolute Truth for a Universe essentially Dancing in Motion as we speak.
(5) (Seeming) Paradox – To see the Formless through Form. To see Spirit through Matter. To work with Energy within the confines of Matter.
(6) Relentless Questioning – The fact my spiritual path survives my constant questioning is a sign that … I’m probably doing what I need to be doing.

Again, these are ideas to be expanded upon. Not quite my priestess manifesto …
And they will evolve. But they’ve moved on to the point where I can safely say:

That I am a Priestess on the Path of Formlessness, as taught to me by the Dark Mother. I love God as I love Goddess: They are two parts of Many that make up the Whole.

You might ask – why still use the ‘Title’ of Priestess – why make that distinction? Truth be told, someday, we will all realize the Divinity within us – and will need no intermediaries or facilitators. Until that day we will still require a label, title or marker to simply describe what we (facilitators) do.

As we collectively shift, we are unearthing so many divisions and distinctions that have kept so many away from a recognition of their Innate Divinity. (And here’s where Paradox enters…) Like the being who has incarnated to dissolve a karmic seed, and must fully express that desire before it can be released – I feel that we must honor, recognize and allow all Forms of Form to flourish, before we release the need for them in their entirety.

Sadly, the Priestess-hood and the right of Woman to hold any Divine status is still challenged today. And the work that I do serves to bring that Form into full realization once more, before it can all be (ultimately) Dissolved. When that day comes (and if I’m still in the cycle or birth-rebirth) I shall no longer use that title to describe my work as it will no longer be required.

But till then …..

This is Priestess Bairavee Balasubramaniam, PhD
www.bairaveebalasubramaniam.com

Some articles of mine which talk about different aspects of this … Path of Formlessness. Others have of course written and spoken about this in different ways. I can, however, only speak for myself.

The Formless Feminine – The Dark Mother Who Led Me To This Path – Dhumavati-Ma: http://www.elephantjournal.com/2014/08/dhum-dhum-dhumavati-the-formless-shakti-of-smoke-detachment-priestess-bairavee-balasubramaniam-phd/

The Divine Does not Discriminate: http://wp.me/p4OUNS-7m
A Wake Up Call from My Brain: http://wp.me/p4OUNS-7u
Detachment and the Illusion of Form: http://wp.me/p4OUNS-5S
Dissolution: Maya Un-Masked – http://wp.me/p4OUNS-6G

Image Information: Ashes in the Wind 1996.jpg – By Richard Rappaport (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

A WAKE-UP CALL FROM MY BRAIN: Am I trying to complete a million-piece jigsaw with just two parts of the puzzle?

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I think I’ve finally settled on a word for this part of my Journey:
Inner Formlessnesses, Outer Balance

Whilst I adore Goddess Kali and Lord Shiva, and so many other Beings from other pantheons — The idea of an Ultimate Masculine, or an Ultimate Feminine doesn’t quite appeal anymore.

What if there’s more to Spiritual Essences or flows of Energy than this whole Masculine-Feminine thing?

Just a thought experiment: If we had three or four different sex chromosomes (and not just X or Y) … would we then have Masculine, Feminine, and two other types of energies? And each had biological differences that translated into different functions (historically and statistically speaking), and each of those functions became reified over time….. In that case, we would have 3 or 4, rather than 2 different ‘types of energy’.

In other words, if we had more sexes in our species, would we have more Divine Archetypes?

Based on the way humanity is configured right now – yeah – totally.

Personally, I feel the Divine is a lot larger than the way certain aspects of our sex/reproductive/biological genders are configured. (Of course culture and history have a lot to do with solidifying those differences).

We’ve seen an evolution in the way we relate to the Divine based on the Tribe (1st chakra), then on Sexual Differences (2nd chakra), then on who conquered whom (3rd chakra – power). And historically speaking, that does make a whole lot of sense.

We saw philosophical approaches to the spiritual that stressed Unity Consciousness (7th chakra and above), that stressed the Rational, Scientific Approach to Spirit (6th chakra) in principles of the Vedas, Saiva Siddhantha and many so-called ‘New Age’ Paradigms. We saw intermediate religious forms that replaced the feminine focus with a masculine deity, along with the rhetoric of shame and (in their eyes) justified suppression of the Yoni and her Teaching.

The more philosophical, and later patriarchal approaches, historically evolved in response to earlier understandings and resulted in the rejection of practices and belief systems that centered upon the Mother, the Priestess, The Serpent and the Earth. Sacred women became witches or whores. Serpents became the Devil And the Earth became Hell, a place of torment, and not the Source of life.

(And so many of us are working to reclaim these condemned traditions, bringing them back into the spiritual mainstream – Hooray!)

Another tangent of the more philosophical approach simply renounced all things material … or any concern in the ‘real-world’, adopting a position of – I’ll call it materialistic nihilism. (For those of us who believe we came as Spirit-in-Flesh for a reason, that doesn’t work either)

The rational, universalistic rhetoric of the later, more philosophical approaches were not borne out in practice as seen as the great departure between text and practice. One cannot claim to recognize to see the Divine in All and then deny a woman, a foreigner, a transvestite – anyone who does not fit the status quo equal rights, even in places of worship. They spoke of detachment, mind and non-judgment, but the institutions that carried that knowledge did not abide to those principles.

Now all this time I thought I was playing for the first team. Then I thought finding a middle space for both teams to shake hands was the task (4th – the Heart Bridge). Now, something in my brain is waking up to say – No love, you’re not even supposed to be playing the same game.

What that is, I’m still finding out.

But back to the discussion –

If I could compare the Divine to any part of the human Body, I’d compare it to the Brain and it’s infinite capacity for neural re-wiring and learning. Heck, the architecture of the brain mimicks the architecture of the Universe – not a coincidence I think.

So why remain fixed upon distinctions rooted in secondary sexual characteristics and learned behaviors?

Coming back to the male-female construct (which is the basis of duality) – What if thinking in these terms of constructs pretty much shuts out other types of energetic expressions? Things which we may have greater access to if were less bound by those constructs.

Don’t get me wrong – this isn’t to say that masculine and feminine do not exist – but perhaps they aren’t the whole picture. Perhaps we’re building a picture of Spirit based on two pieces of the jigsaw, when there may be a million other pieces.

Yeah, dualism doesn’t seem to work for me anymore. But the perspective of ‘it’s all one, it’s all interconnected’ is still missing a few explanatory pit stops, for me at least.

That doesn’t mean to say I don’t believe in the God or Goddess anymore. They do exist, but just in a different space than they used to in my growing relationship with the Universe.

[Again, this is my internal understanding – of how Spirit may be structured – I guess you could call it my evolving philosophical approach to understanding Spirit]

As these ideas wake up in my brain, I ask myself – how do they best translate into the outer world?

Do I stop valuing and honoring the priestess tradition? or the Goddess Path?

Absolutely not. That’s one of the greatest imbalances in the world. If the two pieces are going to reach out to the missing million, they’ve got to work together.

Do I stop seeking for balance?

No way! It’s just that my idea of balance and integration is no longer bound to a male/female form.

Do I stop being a priestess?

Only if I stop being a woman who serves the Divine. And that ain’t changing. Even this line of thought is part of that Path of Service.

So, what, in my external actions – does this line of thought change –

Not much, as far as I can see. The vibration of my words and actions might change, however. The reason why I’d seek balance would of course, be different.

But internally —- Man…. Woman… God.. Goddess… What a Trip writing this has been!

Priestess Bairavee Balasubramaniam, PhD
www.bairaveebalasubramaniam.com
Where the Divine is taking me, who Knows?

xxx