I WANT TO SEE YOU IN ANOTHER WAY : A Poem by Priestess Bairavee Balasubramaniam, PhD

Amaa with goat on the front porch



Be grateful for that one voice that stands apart from the crowd,
A whisper, a murmur, a vigilante-watcher shouting out loud and proud…
Be grateful for that person that makes you question, rather than doubt,
For you have nothing to lose, the Universe’s work is about.

Be loving to that soul that said – I want to see you in another way,
Cherish this time where you are challenged to say,
Let me see your Love and your views of today.

We’ll find a place, a space of grace,
Where your world and mine can respectfully embrace,
And we’ll make waves…

That Ripple of Love, That Olive Branch, That White Dove,
We’ll transform all in its way,
Even hatred … held at bay,

What else can I say to that Alchemy of Spirit?
That Fire of Transmutation?
The Expansion of Perception, The Rejection of Rejection…

Except ….

By Priestess Bairavee Balasubramaniam, PhD

Image: By [http://flickr.com/photos/35943421@N00 saipal] (Flickr) [CC-BY-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

Why do I call myself a Priestess? A Reflection by Priestess Bairavee Balasubramaniam, PhD

It’s a question I’ve been wanting to answer. So I did ūüôā And I hope my reflections on the subject will be of use to others in their journey as well. I know many have inspired my own, and so the Cycle continues ‚̧ ‚̧ ‚̧

Here I speak of embodiment and honoring the Unity and Diversity that is within us all. Let’s ask ourselves, as individuals, as a collective – How do we Rise with Authenticity?

Blessings to all,
Priestess Bairavee Balasubramaniam, PhD

Blessings and Love to All,

Priestess Bairavee Balasubramaniam, PhD


PRIESTESS IS A VERB, NOT A TITLE: COMING INTO YOUR OWN POWER AND BEING COMFORTABLE WITH IT – by Priestess Bairavee Balasubramaniam, PhD + Quotations from a friend

priestesses draft

I wrote this in response to a post I saw earlier today. It struck a nerve, but it was a nerve I know tapped into some collective wound, which I – and all beings are enmeshed in. A wound that triggers deeply rooted attitudes of judgment and shame when one seeks to balance ‘being spiritual’ and ‘being powerful’.

The two are not mutually exclusive – a lesson that women, in particular, are beginning to remember at this time.. You are not egotistic if you let your power shine through you and if you are seen as powerful. By the same token – ego can come in even when you falsely pretend to be less than you are, or hide away from your birthright.

The original piece as a whole (which I commented on, which sparked this post) was beautiful and contained much wisdom. I focus on this aspect as it is the one that looked like it needed to be expanded upon. Together, we’ll get there! :

“” You’re right in saying that our connection to Goddess is not dependent upon external validation and titles – but that does not mean that we have to hide from what we are, or that we need to fear coming out and embodying that which we are. She calls us to Awaken in Silence, just as she calls us to Roar forth and Embody.

I have been a priestess for many lifetimes. I don’t see it as a fancy title, it is who I am. It is certainly not one that I – or others who use that title- take for the sake of prestige or to be trendy.

Not being who we are, and hiding in the ego, refusing to ‘own our Paths’ … is just as problematic as associating those titles with true spiritual connection – it’s very context specific and hard to generalize because each Path is Unique.

As a woman in an Asian context, taking my own title is nothing short of an act of absolute rebellion, and I did so listening to the quiet guidance within. My ego was terrified, and I calmed it. I knew it was the right thing to do. But that is my life, and perhaps – that too resonates with others. All else you have said I agreed with. “”

Between you and me – for far too long as the title of priestess, and the right of woman to serve in religious and spiritual institutions been denied. For too long have our beliefs and spiritual alignments been condemned. Be-coming those states, those beings, once more is not to surrender to your ego. It all depends on what your Path is.

If She asks you to embody that external sense of authority, power, then that’s what you gotta do. If your task is to work in the background and embody in silence, then to do that. But neither path is lesser than the other, and it would be a mistake to associate embodying that power and owning it with the sheer trappings of egotism.

Ultimately, you can’t generalize what your path of Awakening will be – nor it is fair to judge another’s. This is the point I wish to make and hope that the message can be seen for what it is.

To conclude, I leave you with the words of someone on one of my pages said – in response to the original article and my commentary – and it really struck the right chord:

” When you turn Priestess (or Priest) into a VERB, it is no longer a title. It’s what we DO. We DO things like perform ceremonies, fundraise, listen, heal, love. It’s so much more than a title or a status…

Priestess is a VERB, not a title. ” ~ By Tiffany Dembek

Blessings, Priestess Bairavee Balasubramaniam PhD

[Postscript: In retrospect, I see no reason why it can’t be both ūüôā Best of both worlds! ‚̧ ūüôā ]

Images: John Collier [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons; By Mwhs at en.wikipedia [Public domain], from Wikimedia Commons; http://www.flickr.com/photos/mantas_lt/ Flickr user ”Mantas LT” on Wikimedia Commons

Pyramid in the Sky, 14.8.14 (LAST CALL!) – by Priestess Bairavee Balasubramaniam, PhD

Pyramidal Energies

Blessings to all, 

The energetic connections formed by the Moon in the sky take the form of a pyramid at this time. Whilst not, strictly speaking, recognized as an astrological aspect Рmy intuition tells me that this is nonetheless a significant and potent configuration.

This pyramid has been in the skies since July 14 2014, involving Uranus, Pluto, Lilith and Saturn. It ends tomorrow, August 15 2014, 8:47 am (GMT + 8). 

Pyramid 2

The Moon lights up the apex of the pyramid before that configuration breaks. It is the final Burst of energy that this sacred geometrical shape will provide us all before dissipating. 

The Apex of the Pyramid is made of the conjunction between the Moon and Uranus Retrograde in Aries. This suggests a profound, emotional, and intuitive awakening bridging together the Elements of Air and Water and the realms of the Sub-Conscious and the Super-Conscious. In the sign of Aries, pertaining to the body, the immediate vessel of the Self, a fundamental sense of I-Self-Hood, both the Moon’s and Uranus’ energy is channeled through and activated by awakenings within the physical form.¬†

The Moon and Uranus Retrograde (MUR) square Pluto Retrograde in Capricorn, bringing an intense focus upon the ways in which we understand what is Power, Authority, Status and Achievement, particularly within institutions in the public eye that deal with governance. 

MUR also inconjuncts Mars and Saturn in Scorpio (a potent combination in themselves), challenging us to find ways to channel and embody this energy  that honor our integrity and our boundaries as we merge with others at this time.

MUR also trines Lilith in Leo, creating an inhibited flow of energy between this Energy of Awakening and the archetype of the Dark or Suppressed Feminine. Aspects of ourselves, which, normally suppressed or silenced, will no longer be hidden as we are called to re-claim ourselves as we Rise into our own Power.

Pluto Retrograde in Capricorn makes a sextile to Mars and Saturn in Scorpio Рindicating that these energies are able to blend together and re-inforce one another as they ask similar questions. Both Pluto and Saturn are in mutual reception, i.e. the occupy the sign associated with the other at the time. 

Mars and Saturn in Scorpio makes a square to Lilith in Leo. Mars and Saturn challenge us to use our power over self or others with integrity, as search for our own strength and answers within – in the glare of the light of uncompromising Truth. Lilith challenges us to Awaken, Acknowledge and Re-integrate the Feminine in our expression of Self, Creativity and in our understandings of the purity of Childhood as well as the right of Leadership. Both these energies are squared with one another as they seek Power in different ways, and for different reasons. One’s intentions and methods of exercising power at this time need to be examined. Ask yourselves if what you are doing comes from your Heart? or your Ego? at this time.¬†

There are a few other aspects or energies in operation at this time, but these are the major factors. We will be feeling Lilith powerfully owing to the fact that there are 5 bodies in the sign as we speak: Venus, Jupiter, Lilith, Sun and Mercury. We are also heading towards a Venus-Jupiter conjunction (Aug 18) and a Mars-Saturn conjunction (Aug 25).

Much energy is building in the skies ūüôā Stay tuned for later write-ups that explain the hows, whys, and wheres of the energies of Now.¬†

Vanakkam, Namaste and Blessings to All, 

Priestess Bairavee Balasubramaniam, PhD


THE BURNING MOON’S LESSONS – 14.8.14 – by Priestess Bairavee Balasubramaniam, PhD

The Moons Lessons

Vanakkam, Namaste and Blessings to All.

It’s the 14th of August here (GMT +8) and I’d like to tell you a little bit about what the Moon’s doing in the skies right now.

She is in the Sign of Aries, having brought us through a very intense end of a Pisces-cycles, related to issues with manifestation and cycles of intergenerational abuse. We saw many ending points in ourselves, and in the wider world around us, including the death of a beloved childhood friend to many.

The Moon encourages us to Assert ourselves in this sign, to find ways of doing things that no longer mirror or anchor onto the past. She tells us to Stand Up and Be Counted.

But she’s not doing so Alone.

She’s part of a T-Square involving Pallas Athena in Libra (opposition) and Juno in Cancer (square to both). Those with planets/objects near 2 Capricorn will feel this as Grand Cardinal Cross.

So the individualistic, breakaway impulses of the Moon in Pioneering Aries oppose the more strategic, focused, analytical and assertive energies of Pallas Athena in Libra. She is searching for Paths to Peace and Co-existence through the Mind, whilst the Sub-Conscious toys with the idea of Self at All Costs.

Both form squares to Juno (the Soulmate, the Essence of the Divine Femine as I see her) calling us to seek completion in the sign of the Crab. Home and security Conscious Juno may seek comfort in her place of origin, in her ancestral or familial home, or with spiritual kin she considers family.What She finds however, may a tense, or crisis oriented situation forcing her to make critical choices of who/what/how she values people, the world, her family and herself.

The Moon is also part of a Wedge formation involving Venus in Leo and Pallas Athena in Libra (same opposition as before). This time around, Venus trines the Moon and sextiles Pallas Athena, stating: Find the answers you seek, and a harmonious way to seek them through the expression of your authentic creativity and inner joy. Bring out the Child and let Him/Her dance.

Jupiter and Venus are already in a loose conjunction, to the blessings of the Benevolent Guru, the Granter of Abundance at available to you here, through this configuration.

Those with planets at 1 Aquarius will perceieve this as a Mystic Rectangle in Air/Fire Signs. Turn your talents outward, into the world! But always remember… Balance, Balance, Balance.

But at the same time the Moon forms an inconjunct to Ceres and Vesta, the Goddess Asteroids of Nurture and Priestessing/Tending to the Sacred Hearth-Flame in Scorpio. Here the fires of Aries and that quality of rugged individualism, striking it out on one’s own meets the energy of Scorpio through an inconjunct (disquieting aspect). Scorpio seeks to merge but as it does so, it seeks power and control. The question is whether it is over the self, or the other – and how it sets the boundaries between the two. Aries has little interest in those concerns – for, at the egoic level, it is all about ‘Me, Me’, Me’.Threats to losing dominance or power can be met by displays of stubbornness, selfishness (not the nice self-centered-loving place I usually talk about), and rash, impulsive decisions.

Those with planets/objects at 1 Virgo will feel this as a yod pointing to The Aries Moon. Sudden departures and partings may occur due to impulsiveness. This may or may not be a good thing, so exercise judgment in your dealings with others at this time, particularly those you do energy-work of any kind with.

The Moon’s inconjunct will pass through the Scorpio Stellium, beginning now with Ceres, then to Vesta, Mars and (which is loosely conjunct) Saturn.

She Teaches Us Much, this Aries Moon. The Mother of Fire tells us to … ultimately…. Burn Bright, Burn True, and Burn-only-as-Love.

Blessings and Burning Love to All,
Priestess Bairavee Balasubramaniam, PhD

SHE WHO CHOOSES – A Poem by Priestess Bairavee Balasubramaniam, PhD

She Who Chooses

No sir, I shall not grace you with a smile because you expect me to,
Don’t you dare invite yourself to my table, this space isn’t for you,
Why do you fret when I am unwilling to entertain you?
Why do you look pained when I refuse to speak to you with my golden tongue?
And no – I’m not bitter, broken, divorced, widowed – or as you might think – a crone, harridan, hag, witch, bitch, or shrew.
Words that strike fear straight to you.

I AM She Who Chooses…

I am woman, I am Goddess, I am born of She,
And that space of warmth, of love and desire,
The Mother in my Heart the Child in my Womb,
Maiden, Mother, Crone, Sister, Wife, Daughter,
All I Am. All I Be.

Why oh why do men presume that women must welcome them so?
You’re not my teacher, my lover, my friend, or my beau,
They certainly don’t ask other men to do the same…..
Perhaps they should…
But if we don’t – unto womanhood that projected shame.

I find you strange, a strange creature of expectation,
You see my neutrality, my level headed tone as aggression,
My discernment as threat, my judgment as rudeness,
Shaken to the bone like a rag doll in the wind you reel from my lack of engagement.

This is my middle ground, my threshold,
I stand here with trident, with scythe, with tigress, with wisdom of Old,
Indeed yes, the warm fire turns ice cold,
When the predator seeks to claim what is not his own.

Believe me son for when I rage,
And my anger boils and foams and curdles and rises,
You’ll know.

For now, Just Go.

If you cross that line of mine,
Seeking what is not yours to find,
Out Come the Ice-Cold, Red-Hot Goddess-Whore-Witch-Shrews of Old,
Run, son, run… lest I begin to Dance.

For you shall see the one you seek,
The one you want, and yet Dread to Meet.

The She who Rises,
The She who Chooses.
The I AM hidden beneath

(What’s that? I thought you wanted me to smile?
What’s that? Not the one with the fangs?
Whooops! )

Priestess Bairavee Balasubramaniam, PhD

THE LESSONS OF MISUNDERSTANDING by Priestess Bairavee Balasubramaniam, PhD


A test of spiritual maturity and self-understanding occurs each time you are misread, misrepresented, misunderstood. Whether it be by strangers, friends, family members, kindred spirits and/or members of your Soul Tribe.

As you go through the world, spreading your messages, embodying your Essence, you are heard. But what is understood may be something wholly different. For we respond to who we think we speak to, not so much the person sitting right next to us.

Especially as human interactions are increasingly interfaced and facilitated by technology, it is wise to remember that very often – we are speaking to _our_ representation, or mental construct of a person – in our own heads, as opposed to who they are as an energetic being in embodied form.

That representation is layered by our assumptions, pre-conceptions, mis-conceptions and experiences of reality, it is filtered through our perspectives and tastes. So very often, that image you have of someone as you speak to them – says a lot more about you, than who they may actually be.

Cue Projection!

When this happens, smile. Try to clarify your position. Try to make your stance clear.

Getting into a fight, taking it personally – it helps no one, it achieves no thing. Accusing the other person of ‘How could You?’ doesn’t really do much either.

The best you can do is speak with clarity, and hope for the best. If one is intent upon misunderstanding you, there is little you can do about it.

Their battle is with the ‘you’ in their head and what that means to them – an internal process of mirroring, and not being pleased with one’s reflection.

Try to avoid judging them or labeling their responses to you as ‘good’, ‘bad’ – or even feeling the need to take it personally. For they’re not actually ‘attacking’ you, just parts of themselves they have not yet fallen in love with.

And for the love of all things Divine, stay as You Are
To Thyself Stay True!
For in the end, it wasn’t really about you anyway

Blessings To All, Keep Smiling Amidst The Storm,
Priestess Bairavee Balasubramaniam, PhD













Image Information: By Stefan Krause, Germany (Own work) [FAL], via Wikimedia Commons


Blessings to all,

A few notes on this Supermoon in Aquarius. This will occur at 2:08 am August 11 2014 (GMT + 8 – Malaysia), 4:08 am Aug 11 (Sydney), 2:08 pm August 10 (New York) a 18 degrees Aquarius-Leo.

Aquarius is an Air sign, contrary to its description as ‘The Water Bearer’. It has a fluid quality – in the sense that we are in fact surrounded by an ‘ocean’ of minute particles that make up the air we breathe. It is what the ancients called Ether, it is what we spiritualists understand as permeating the vacuum of space pervading the Universe.

Of all the air signs, only Aquarius has a ‘Fixed’ quality. This means that the movement of its energy seeks some kind of fixed form or definition. Whilst some of you might go – aha! but isn’t Aquarius all about unconventionality, rebellion and freedom? – others might remember that ‘breaking out’ or ‘defying the system’ depends upon some reference to what is ‘convention’/’order’/’structure’ in the first place.

It is the energy of innovation and breakthrough,¬†associated with those flashes of genius and insight that have the capacity to change the course of the planet’s future. Aquarius also rules¬†the energy of friendship groups, networks or associations aimed at spiritual, charitable or other altruistic causes. It has an orientation that is revolutionary, idealistic and humanitarian.

Aquarius, the 11th house and the planet Uranus are all associated with one other – their energies are often linked to the concept of the ‘Higher Mind’. What this essentially means, for those of us who channel or do other forms of spiritual work, is that the Gates of Aquarius open portals of knowledge to other realms, often from other parts of the Universe. It can equally manifest as that ability to connect with and download information directly from Source, Beyond the Self.

I disagree with the idea that it is a Higher pursuit of the Mind, in the sense of Higher being somehow Elevated in the normative sense of the term. I see Uranian energy as simply referring to Wisdom from Beyond, rather than Wisdom from Within. It is a terminological issue, which does not alter the essence of this article.

With the Moon in Aquarius, we are awakened to the ability to tap into Spirit/Source-Within-The-Self – through the Body/the Womb/through revelations by way of Gnosis as the Sub-Conscious mind opens portals to ancient Knowledge we often forget even exist.

Ultimately Gnosis and the Uranian function work well together – except that our _perception_ of the Sources of Origin of Insight Differ. One is ‘out there’, the other is Knowledge from ‘Within’. From a holographic perspective of the Universe, it’s all one and the same at the end of the day. But for¬†students of astrology, it is an energetic difference well worth bearing in mind.

We have this powerful opportunity to open the Gateways of Information at both ends as it were – in the Heavens and in the Earth, through the Vessel or Vehicle of Self, engaging all levels of our Consciousness. The Revelations we understand now, from within or without, will link together profound wisdom that can alter your life, and the lives of all those around you as you create your own ripple of energy, moving through the Universal Aether. These energies are syncretic and synergistic – differences of ‘In/Out’, ‘Us/Them’ simply dissolve¬†in the the Direct Experience of Knowing that will be available to all at this time.

As a Supermoon, this Full Moon occurs at a time where the Moon is closest to the Earth – it’s energy will be felt more intensely as compared to other Full Moons. However, the energetic dynamics and symbolic significance of the Full Moon remains the same – only more intense.

Full Moons – and SuperMoons – are times of culminations. They may literally or metaphysically represent a time of harvest.

You set the seeds of what you reap now during the New Moon of 30/31 st January 2014. This was a Black Moon Rising, i.e. a second New Moon in a single calendar month and marked the start of the Year of the Horse, as per the Chinese Calendar.

We are now at the midpoint of its energy. Look back to the end of January to realize what you now reap, how and why.

Other influences strongly intersecting with the energies of the SuperMoon are: its opposition to the Sun/Mercury/Lilith conjunction in Leo, the square that these objects make with Saturn and their trine to Uranus Retrograde in Aries. The Sum of these energies are channeled powerfully through the central opposition between the Full Moon and the Sun/Mercury/Lilith conjunction in Leo. I also discuss the energetic opportunities and challenges that arise with these other aspects at this time.

I would like to single out and emphasize the energy of Lilith in Leo and the implications of its opposition to the Full Moon in Aquarius. Lilith, the archetype of the Dark/Suppressed Goddess – the Woman that has been Slighted – is Rising with Her Lion.

She is Kali-Ma, She is Hekate, She is Pele, She is every man and woman who has been disallowed from expressing the wholeness and complexity of their feminine selves. All of us, have felt repression along those lines: The little girl who wasn’t allowed to run and play and express her creativity because … she was just a girl. The little boy who was told to ‘man up’ because he wanted to cry at something that hurt him.

Lilith is supported by Mercury (communicator, analyst) and the Sun (focus of consciousness, the Blessings of the Father) as She Rises. She reaches out to the Mother in the Moon and asks Her for a Vision.

This Vision will reveal a Path for us to integrate, in a way that Honors All, the Divine Masculine and Divine Feminine in all Beings. For more information on this aspect and its significance, you might like to also read my article on: Kali-Ma Dances Her Tandava on the World’s Stage: The Rise of the Dark Goddess¬†at¬†http://wp.me/p4OUNS-3f .

A final note: We will meet so many beings as part of our ‘Soul Tribe’ aligned with this, and related causes, at this time. Celebrate those unions, and take the time to embrace one another as we Forge a New World. We may also find the need to set appropriate energetic boundaries with those that may outwardly pretend to play that role, but are in fact seeking to harness or harvest energy inappropriately. Saturn in Scorpio is your ally here, squared by the Dark Goddess. Be fair with the boundaries you set, but honor your needs and path as you do.

I found this article a lovely complement to this piece, also on the SuperMoon: https://www.facebook.com/DharmaStarsAstrology/photos/a.208715032514360.80242.208642779188252/802535083132349/?type=1&theater РThey suggest looking back to August 1999, when we had a Full Moon at the same degree (18 Leo- 18 Aquarius)

May We Collectively find the Solutions that We Seek.

Blessings to All,

Priestess Bairavee Balasubramaniam, PhD ~ ~ ~ www.bairaveebalasubramaniam.com

The Energies of Now: 9 August 2014 by Priestess Bairavee Balasubramaniam, PhD

The Energies of Now

Hullo everyone – there’s been a lot of intense energies in the sky.

Sun conjuncts Mercury conjuncts Lilith in Leo (ROAR) – You have the Light of Consciousness/Awareness focused on the way you intellectualize, communicate and perceive your ability to create, to express your authentic selves, to rise to a position of leadership and/or to relate with your children/children in general. Lilith in Leo strongly brings in the energy of Goddess Kali, as she Rises against injustices meted against women and men who embody the feminine principle – obstacles to women or non-hetero men rising in leadership will be strongly highlighted at this time – pathways to breaking through ‘the glass ceiling’ will be revealed by the Full Moon, coming soon.

She says: Tread where you will with grace and power, my Sons and Daughters for I AM by your side.

This powerful conjunction squares Saturn (form, structure, order, manifesting the desires of the super-ego) in intimate, penetrative Scorpio. Boundaries and discipline set in pursuits of shadow-work, inner work, intimate relationships, our understanding of power (over self or other) will be set at this time. These limits are there to help you learn, and are not obstacles to your growth unless you choose to see them that way.

The Sun-Mercury-Lilith conjunction also trines Uranus Retrograde (inner awakening, awakening through ‘error’, explosions in consciousness and the flow of intuition) in Aries. Expect radical changes to one’s perception of Self as Self makes its way through the world at this time.

The kinds of shifts happening with these powerful energies, a few years ago, would have seemed overwhelming to most of us. But with the changes brought by the Grand Cardinal Cross, the Grand Water Trine in late May 2014, the recent ‘season of shifts’ and Grand Sextile – I feel as though many are handling these cosmic forces with grace than they would have imagined possible.

There’s a lot more happening as well – a Grand Water Trine between Juno, Neptune Retrograde and Mars/Ceres/Vesta in Scorpio has just formed. Ceres recently entered Scorpio, and just now Juno entered Cancer. We see new chapters unfolding in our relationship with the Divine aspect of the Feminine Principle.

There’s a lot more coming, and it will be phenomenal.

Blessings and Love to All,
And May we Awaken into our own Power, Grace, Beauty and Authenticity with every Breath we Take….

Priestess Bairavee Balasubramaniam, PhD

THE MANY FACES OF LOVE by Priestess Bairavee Balasubramaniam, PhD


Earlier today, I was wondering about The Face of Love – does it, like we humans, wear a mask? does it have no form? Is it… essentially amorphous, like constantly-shifting fumes of smoke wafting through the air?

If we do not know its form, or face, or facade, how do we then recognize it when we see it? (The understanding of Love-as-a-vibration-that-permeates-All is something I will explore in another post)

Now the ‘Love’ that so many of us associate with the Spiritual often takes the form of babies giggling, joyful eyes, smiles and tender hugs.

Sometimes it’s a deep seated state of contentment, or peace accompanied by a powerful sense of knowing – almost a neutral, peaceful expression.

Sometimes its the fierce kind of joy that loved ones express in a tight hug when reunited after a long time.

Already, in this little list, we see so many different ‘faces’ or forms of joy in human expression and emotion.

Sometimes we recognize love in an act of kindness, of sitting down with the homeless, of helping to save kittens from a flood, or offering food and good company to the destitute. In these cases, the action, rather then expression (possibly both) becomes our way of viewing What-Is-Love.

And now we get to the tricky bit – What does Love Look Like when preserving or defending that quality and ability to give Love in yourself or in another person?

Emotions such as fear, anger, shame, resentment, or the perception of being threatened subconsciously block the flow of Love in ourselves. Our egoes (and rightly so) move into ‘flight or fight mode’.

Embracing a person seeking to attack or violate you (or as suggested to Indian women, to ‘call him Bhaiyya/Brother!’) isn’t going to do a single thing.

In moments like these we attack, or simply defend enough to get away. And hopefully, we prevent others from being attacked by lodging a police report or complaint.

Now that doesn’t look like cuddles, hugs, or acts of kindness, does it?

So sometimes Love is Fierce. And, to the outsider, it can look like Anger, Wrath or Rage.

The difference is truly in the internal perception of what is going on with you at that time. I recall one incident that really brought the point home for me:

My housemates and I (two women younger than myself) went to this birthday party at a house. We didn’t really drink, but the crowd got progressively wilder and wilder, and more and more people getting drunk to the point where it actually got quite scary. People were flinging and swinging the birthday man up and down with reckless abandon (in retrospect I wondered why he didn’t break anything/himself) and some guy had the bright idea to cover himself with chocolate cake and rub himself over the equally drunk female guests.

By this point we were just looking for the right opportunity to leave, and I was already on edge, scanning the room to see potential threats coming. (I was studying Wing Chun, a Chinese martial arts form invented by a woman at the time). I wanted to get out of there, but hated the idea of leaving my housemates with that lot.

The chocolate-rubber-guy came over and tried to rub himself over my friends. He took one look at me and just slid back… silently… looking as though something had frightened him.

I had no knowledge anything was going on except that I was very very focused.

Later on, my housemates told me that my eyes were focused upon him and my hands went up in mon sau wu sau position (the fighting stance that I was trained to adopt in my classes). There was no Anger, no Fear, nothing – I had no knowledge of what I did, how I did it.

I just did what I had to do.

So, apparently, My Face of Love in that scenario … to that guy at least …

Looked Absolutely Terrifying.

Cue Kali-Ma and the iconography of Dark Goddesses ‚Äď The Terrifying Mother in Her Act of Love. Subject for another post, another time ¬†‚̧ ‚̧ ‚̧¬†

Blessings to all,

Priestess Bairavee Balasubramaniam, PhD


Woman protecting a unicorn from a hunter РFlore de virtu e de costumi (Flowers of Virtue and of Custom) (mid 15th C), f. 36v detail РBL Harley MS 3448.jpg , unknown [CC0], via Wikimedia Commons