Spiritual Shaming, Self-Worth and Why Suffering Isn’t the Way You Need To Go …

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We are all, Children of the Universe. We come into being bearing so many Gifts and so much Love. We all have so much to Give.
The sad part is when we forget that we are a part of the Collective. That we too, deserve the love, nurture, support and abundance that we so freely and willingly give to others.
The sad part is when we deny ourselves the same flow of energy we seek to open for others. Some locate it within a rhetoric that says ‘if you suffer, you are sacred’.
Really? Why?
A lot of spiritual growth happens when you truly sit and feel into that question. Yes, suffering, feeling wounds, scars, trauma – can be an incredibly rewarding process. But why is being in pain any less sacred than being happy and fulfilled?
The political scientist in me says that’s an awfully convenient idea to tell a population unhappy with the way they lives are panning out. It makes for a great captive population.
‘What, your life isn’t great? Taxes are too high? The Plague? What, you want reforms? Err…Uhm… — Well… that’s just God’s way, and my, aren’t you blessed to suffer so … What do you mean why? Well, you’ve sinned!!!! (and depending on your perspective, that’s this life or lives past, or simply for having been born human and wanting to pro-create)’
The priestess in me looks at it as as a well-meaning but outdated adherence to a old paradigm that, frankly, does not hold water in the present (unless you really really want it to – and if you do, be aware that it is your choice).
And a lot of that goes back to what I’ve been writing recently on the wounded healer / woundology paradigm. There’s a very big difference between taking the time you need to work through it, and between self-sabotaging your healing process because (1) you don’t believe you can heal (2) you don’t believe you deserve to (3) the Ego says it’s holy to suffer, or (4) that you’ve sinned so badly you deserve to fry for the remainder of your existence/s
Now – this whole dialogue on sinning / attachment to woundedness / refusal to see yourself as deserving better – deserves its own book. I’m going to move onto a different aspect of the question.
Another reason (especially) healers who provide services to others have issues with healing / nurturing themselves is because of the ‘God will provide’ argument.
Let’s break that down shall we.
I recall a few weeks ago (and I’ve seen it a few times) an individual who was very upset with me charging for my services and going on my travels (it’s how I do my thing). He was so so so agitated and kept telling me how I needed to repent as God would provide me with I needed.
Truth be told, yes, God/Goddess has absolutely provided. I have a skillset which I can use, and people willing to honor the work I facilitate. I make sure that I can give back what I receive, not just through paid sessions. I actually do quite a bit of pro bono work, and donate when I can.
Plus – Spirit is the one that decides when, how much and how I do what I do. So, as I tend to say, ‘If you don’t like it, take it up with the Boss. I’m sure Ma-Kali can squeeze you in for an appointment 😉 ‘
Without much surprise, I find I never get this kind of judgment from polytheists – most cultures that believed in more than one form of deity has, inevitably, some form of being that celebrated Abundance, Prosperity, Success and Wealth.
The only ‘sin’ that I see happening is when a person gives only to receive, does not honor the balance of exchange of energy or measures their worth only in terms of dollars/currency made.
Plus, if we think about it – even within the paradigm of ‘God provides’, who is to say that flow of energy does not come through money?
Plus – if we were to hold to a very strict interpretation of that argument – by that same logic, no one would need any help from any human at all.
That’s not the paradigm we currently live in, so .. I’m not buying that argument so much. It uses the name of the Divine, but shames those who give into a place where they cannot receive.
If Ascended Beings still emoted the way most humans do, I’m sure that they’ve *facepalmed* quite a bit over the past few centuries.
So in summary:
Yes, you’ve got gifts to give.
Yes, you’ve got the right to be happy.
Yes, you’ve got the right to reap the rewards of your work.
No, you are not a sinner for wanting to do so.
No, you are not a sinner for wanting to not suffer.
No, you are not any less sacred for wanting to make sure your needs are met.
We have been conditioned to think this way. And it is time to lift those shackles.
Step away from anyone who has to shame you into becoming ‘spiritual’.
We’re moving into a New Paradigm, people.
Plus, we’re eventually moving into a global economy that has got to run in different ways. Once we deal with our collective issues surrounding money / energy exchange / women / the sacral chakra (all linked to the same vibration) .. I think this discussion will be completely obsolete.
Hope that happens sooner, rather than later x
Ciao for now!
Bairavee Balasubramaniam
The Sky Priestess
Post © Bairavee Balasubramaniam, 2015. All rights reserved. Please see T&Cs below. I have had to update them recently as people have been sharing my work in ways that do not honor the time and effort put into them.
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Image: W44 Supernova Remnant by By NASA/DOE/Fermi LAT Collaboration, NRAO/AUI, JPL-Caltech, ROSAT [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons. Digitally Altered by Bairavee Balasubramaniam (08 December 2015).

 

 

 

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SPIRITUALITY & SUCCESS: AN INVITATION TO REFLECT

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I’ve been doing a lot of work and getting a lot of recognition for the work I do lately, and it has made me reflect upon the way I see success, especially for the spiritual servant or facilitator.

There are many ways to define and measure success – its more common association is with recognition, authority, achievement and power (a theme connected with Capricorn, the sign that the New Moon will be in at 0 degrees).

As far as I am concerned, titles, positions, achievements and/or recognition – these are sometimes necessary manifestations and tools to do the work one came to do, but they are its externalized forms. Just as an apple must have a solid form to be crunchy to taste – simply a means to an end.

I came to this conclusion after looking at the continued evolution of a member of my household, one of the greatest people I know and love, and who has had a profound influence on my path: My Father, Mr. Thannambikai Balasubramaniam. A bit of back-story will put my views in context:

A man who began with humble origins as the son of a cook and a rubber tapper – who rose to power and carved out his own niche in the world. He inspired thousands of people to become multi-millionaires and to understand that Success was in their own Hands. As a motivational speaker and trainer he is the pioneer of many concepts, approaches, formats and programs, within the Tamil-language motivational circuit.

Over the years, I saw my father transform and with it his understanding of what Success meant. As his vibration continued to evolve, so too did the content and level of awareness in his programs. He now speaks on the bridge between Spirituality and Prosperity, anchoring the awareness that both are required for us to do the work we came to do in this 3-D Manifestation of Reality.

The funny thing is that my father, brother, mother and I tend to evolve in parallel, even if we’re thousands of miles apart. Just one of those deeply connected family ties, in which are all the other’s Teacher. My ideas impact my father’s path, and his impact mine – it’s quite an interesting household. I’ve also been working with my father in a professional capacity for about 17 years.

What I’ve (and certainly my father has) noticed was that people got caught up in the success and power they manifested in their lives. Egotism, a false sense of authority, over-confidence, a disregard for empathy and morality are some of the things that can result when you consider ‘money as the measuring gauge of the soul’ (to quote my Mother) .

That’s not a great thing in itself, but it gets even worse when you see how spiritual work becomes over-commercialized and a means for individuals to solely gratify their own egoic desires. Within the Tamil community (and certainly in other communities and diasporas across the globe), there is this horrible muddling of spiritual work and material success that sometimes ensues.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not against a spiritualist getting money or recognition for the work as a natural consequence of their spiritual service – the problem is when that desire for power or recognition trumps the work itself!

*** And – to add a perspective from my Mother – sometimes we do need tools like a position or finances to actually do what we need to do. Whether it’s funding for research or building a spiritual retreat, or having a roof over your head so you can meditate in peace and make sure you or your kids don’t go hungry, or being able to to contribute to a charity to your cause. Money and Power are important Tools on the contemporary Spiritual Path. ***

The level of that importance, differs by the individual Soul’s purpose of incarnation. When Money, Power, and Recognition become the Goal in itself, rather than your Tools, I see it as an ‘Inversion of Energy’.

Moreover, I have found that the necessary tools – be it money, power or a platform to speak on – generally do present themselves with ease to one who is aligned with their purpose. These are things that you do not have to go and seek – do your part and the right tools will come. Have the skills and preparation you need to work with them when the time comes. And it will.

Unfortunately, the inversion of energy (Tools that become Goals) that I spoke of is becoming so widespread that any indicator of worldly success is seen with increasing skepticism and sometimes resentment in spiritual circles.

This need not be the case – as long as you know what you’re doing, and why you’re doing it. Stay true to your own Path and Soul Purpose, and you’ll be fine.

I see the Ego as the Root of this skepticism/resentment/defamation of ‘Success’ in Spiritual Service.

The fear of falling into the trap of the Ego has resulted in a fear of anything that the Ego might enjoy – be it success, wealth, pleasure, achievement or recognition. However, I find that running away from something because you’re afraid of it is simply another form of spiritual evasion. A point of reflection which I would encourage exploration of and reflection on. (Hence why I chose to write this post)

In the shadow of the Solstice, the New Moon in Capricorn, Uranus now having stationed direct and the still-potent energy of Venus conjunct Pluto (in Capricorn) squared Uranus … here’s a small exercise of reflection I invite all of you to participate in.

(1) Define what Success is to you. What does a Successful Life Look Like? You can answer in terms of imagination, energy, abstraction – whatever you like.

(2) How do you measure that Success?

(3) What will and won’t you do to achieve that Success?

(4) Who were your mentors, role models and Influencers who taught you how to think about and access the Vibration of Success?

Answer these questions and that’s half the battle won.

For example: Success for me lies in the Spiritual Service that I Perform. I measure my success by the way I feel about what I do and how I accomplish it.

Questions that I ask myself:

Am I happy with my work? Am I happy with myself?
Do I remember that I am but a Vessel, or Channel for the energy of Source that comes through?
Do I remember to connect with each person as a being worthy of respect and love, with a Shared Cosmic Origin?
Do I stay connected to the Divine through my Heart, Womb, Soul and every aspect of my Being?
Do I manage to Balance all aspects of my life (my inner world and outer world) with the work that I do?
Do I perform my task in a way that resonates with my sense of ethics?

These questions also represent my inner barometer. Astrologers amongst you would probably giggle at the fact I have Vesta (Priestess / Spiritual Servant) in Aries (Sense of Self) at my Midheaven (10th house Career or Legacy Point). My Sun is in Capricorn, in the 6th house of Service, bordering 7th house.

So yes – whilst these answers make perfect sense to my Soul, they don’t need to be the same for You!

Find your own answers my friends and that is half the battle won x

This is a powerful time to be performing this introspective exercise on account of current astrological alignments. Set your intentions with integrity for that which you seek to accomplish – and you’ll see some form of a culmination/answer/fruit to during the Capricorn Full Moon, 6 months from now.

Infinite Blessings to you All From the Very Source of Creation itself x

Priestess Bairavee Balasubramaniam, PhD
Founder & Editor of Aanmavin Kural: The Voice of The Soul E-Magazine
www.bairaveebalasubramaniam.com

Image: Kamatchi Villaku, Bairavee Balasubramaniam, 2014