ENTERING THE DARK WOMB: LIMINALITY, DARK-ADDICTION AND THE DISCOVERY OF HOME
As you discover the sacred embrace of Night, you begin to transform your perception of the Universe. It´s like living in a different time-space, or discovering a different type of element, or language through which you interpret and engage with reality.
A very different sort of reality. One which the ancient Goddess traditions encouraged us to journey into. One which we were later told to forget, vilify, and destroy.
And so many have heeded the call of the Sacred Dark in the past 3 years (Saturn in Scorpio, and so on). So many have begun to open their eyes to that different language or paradigm.
And just as the same way Light is romanticized and stylized and distilled into a form that often forgets its essence – I see the same happening with the way we conceptualize and speak of Darkness.
Rather than the space itself – the vessel of the Void – I see many becoming more and more fixated on the Path of Getting There. Which is a natural thing, but it still needs to be discussed.
And for many the path into the shadow is Pain. Gut wrenching, soul crushing, heart-destroying pain. And metaphors of abuse. And somehow we´re supposed to enjoy this. We´re supposed to dig deep and find what part of us likes this process. With many allegories to BDSM thrown into the mix.
Certainly a route to the Darkness, but not the only one. And certainly one that perpetuates that patriarchal narrative of Pluto raping Persephone and dragging her down below against Her will.
Again, one way of Getting there.
But the Goddess has never left the Shadow. She is the Void.
So why would you need to go through that? Unless you were told you had to, and believed in it?
What happens when we identify our greatest depths, highs, lows – the feel and thrill of excitement (not always the happy kind) – with the quality of being alive?
What happens when getting thrashed, surrendering, mastering (?) or simply being with the Shadow – is really how you get off and feel … simply .. feel…. alive?
When the adrenaline of the Descent and the Hero/ine´s War/Embrace of the Dragon/Serpent/Dark becomes synonymous with Life itself?
That then becomes worrisome.
The more we romanticize the pain, the abuse and the trauma that Dark-Working can bring (in some of its conceptualizations, certainly the more common ones), the more we legitimate levels of addiction to certain forms of Darkness and paths of reaching it.
It´s the same story with codependency and the way cultural norms romanticize it. Here the abusive partner is Pluto/Saturn and somehow we´re still expected to take it – to find salvation.
Some story, different container.
An unnecessary repetition. And one that takes away from the vessel itself.
It´s certainly a part of the process, but a Liminal One.
For some people the period lasts a while, and for others it´s a quick dip – in and out.
Either way, as you head for your Descent – watch the highs and lows that come – and know that this deep emotional roller-coaster is a catalyst for your catharsis. Your undoing. Breaking. and Re-making. But that´s all that is. A Catalyst.
It´s the psychodynamic tension that makes that change, whatever alchemical release happen so that transformation can begin. The drama, in and of itself, is not the end-point or outcome of the process. Just a part of it. It helps to bear that distinction in mind.
And when it´s done … some of you will head out of the cave, the matrix of death and creation, and head back on into the sunlight. Others will find something hidden further within. And head towards it.
A black light calls. Burning with the cool fire of ice. A different sort of light and experience.
There we meet the Dark Mother. The Womb. The Primordial Chamber.
And it gets real quiet.
We enter a space of Detachment. A space where all is, has been, will be and never was.
That space, I call home.
But it takes a bit of a dance, a whirl, a tumble and turn to get here. It´s a space that has no name, no label, no time. The Dark Womb comes close, but that too is a human construct.
And sometimes we stay there for a while, or longer.
Just as the silence begins to deafen, as the sheer .. weight … of unformed potential begins to spill over and through the dark abyss, just as you both enjoy and can no longer take the fullness of the Void … without warning …
The Beginning, Back Again.
Priestess Bairavee Balasubramaniam PhD
Image: The University of Utah. This artist’s conception shows what an invisible “dark star” might look like when viewed in infrared light that it emits as heat. The core is enveloped by clouds of hydrogen and helium gas. A new University of Utah study suggests the first stars in the universe did not shine, but may have been dark stars. Fair use policy.