There are days I love to be wrong,
To know I mis-took all along,
My mind is forced to look again,
At things once different, now the same.
A shift in rigidity comes about,
Neural wiring re-forms without a doubt,
When I is you, is me, is we,
To awakening, this is the key.
Dissolve, dissolve damned dogma!
Past scripts, narratives and messy histories,
Flush it down, set it free,
Whoops… was that my identity?
That part that smiles and stays true in the storm,
When you know what you knew then was never wrong,
Nor was it right, or true, or free, or strong,
Just a little something you put in a form.
That is you my friends, you all along,
Free to shift, morph and sing a different song,
An idea dropped and philosophy forgotten,
a burden dissolved and joy begotten.
That is you, all right, all wrong…
That is you, weak and strong,
Spirit, undefinable and immortal,
Soul, free of beliefs, thoughts, perceptions – all in total.
Round the bend of certainty, past the corner of doubt
Behind that stone, the one called Mis-Take,
Sitting silently in a little rut,
Peek-a-boo, I see you!
Come out, come out, come out!
~ Bairavee Balasubramaniam, PhD
– – – – – –
Image: Meyerheim Versteckspiel by Friedrich Eduard Meyerheim, available in the public domain, found on Wikipedia
I have found, through my own journey, that I have always been my best teacher. That doesn’t mean not taking advice, or not seeing other perspectives outside of your own …
To me, being your own teacher is about taking responsibility for your spiritual journey and your emerging (awareness of) power. You make your own choices, you do the work you have to, you direct your learning to heal the parts of yourself you need to and respectfully seek out those who can facilitate different parts of your journey which you may feel you need help with.
It’s about ‘owning’ your spiritual experience and not delegating growth or the pursuit of knowledge to others – even if you pedestalize them as teachers, mentors, gurus, etc. Well, that is one part of it.
Another part of it is having the humility to ask help when you need it and to accept that your truth, no matter how strongly you feel about it, is no better than anyone else’s.
So.. yeah… Be Your Own Teacher. You always have been and always will be. You just have to remember
~ Bairavee Balasubramaniam, PhD
What an eventful day. I feel so very blessed.
Today, out of the blue, I received an invitation to attend a second, special graduation ceremony hosted by the British Council and British High Commission in Malaysia – to be held in Kuala Lumpur. They extended the invitation to all Malaysians who graduated in the UK in the past 15 years. The second graduation will be in late September.
Co-incidentally, I graduated on the 18th of July 2013 – tomorrow would be an exact year since that event – this year’s graduation ceremonies are taking place at my University as I write this! Talk about Divine Timing 🙂
My parents were not able to attend my official graduation ceremony in the UK [shown] and there was a sense of deep hurt and longing – coincidentally this was also the time of the Grand Sextile (July 2013) and other wild energies. My friends and others close to me were there in attendance and everyone brought so much love to that day – it was not one without challenge. But through it all, I had this deep regret that my dad (in particular, as my mum had seen me during my undergrad ceremony) could not be there to see it.
Fingers crossed, all goes well and my parents will actually be able to see me ‘become a doctor’ for the second time 😀 Same degree though (PhD in Politics).
I feel as though this prayer I was holding so close to my chest, my gut, my inner child was truly and blissfully answered.
So Thank You Universe.
~ Bairavee Balasubramaniam, PhD
My name is Dr. Bairavee Balasubramaniam, PhD.
I was born in Malaysia, of ethnic Tamil (South Indian) heritage and have been skipping across the globe (North America, Europe, Asia) since I was 16 on merit-based scholarships and awards from various universities.
I was one of those kids who read a lot and began using encyclopedias when I was 4 – in my early teens, I was certified as having a Mensan IQ of 172, in the top 2% of the global population, i.e. a genius-level score. (Thank you mum for letting me follow my own curiosity, for teaching me how to stand up for myself – and for the encyclopedia set). After finishing primary school at 11, I basically took my education – and my future – into my own hands. In other words, I am auto-didactic/a self-taught learner.
I finished my high school education at 13 after months of intense self-tutelage, completed my Bachelor’s in record time at 19, skipped a Masters, and then completed a 100,000 word doctoral thesis (PhD) at the age of 25. Here’s a link to an interview where I speak about all of this (in Tamil) – this was aired in July 2013 on the ASTRO network.
I consider myself a self-made woman, driving herself but acknowledging the role of roots, conditioning influences and the wider Universe in making that happen.
In between all this academic ‘stuff’, I engaged myself with several years’ worth of social work, contributing what I could to the social, educational and general improvement of the Malaysian-Indian community, alongside my father Mr. Thannambikkai Balasubramaniam – the man who coined the phrase ‘Thanmunaippu Payirtchi’ (Self-Confidence Seminar) in the Tamil language and made motivational seminars accessible to all segments of the Malaysian-Tamil community.
Speaking on stage is something that I have been very comfortable doing and have addressed crowds (in person) of about 3,000 people and have spoken on numerous Tamil-language radio and TV programs in Malaysia. I have also taught students ways to educate and empower themselves (as I did) and have raised awareness on the brain and its remarkable capabilities. Recently, I was also featured as a guest speaker on Intention Radio, a multi-national radio platform with a global audience.
You can also look at my LinkedIn profile to get an overview of the various professional and academic chapters of my life thus far. https://www.linkedin.com/pub/bairavee-balasubramaniam/40/56/82
My academic interests have varied and evolved through different phases of my life. When I was little, I loved astronomy, astrophysics and neuroscience – and so began my first degree in the US (on scholarship). There I received an introduction to the liberal arts and my taste for politics and justice grew – I then switched my major and my university and studied International Politics and History in Germany. My life-perspective (as an ethnic minority, as a woman) kept evolving through this time and I found myself with a scholarship to study Gendered Ceremony and Ritual in Parliament as part of a 5-year research project at the University of Warwick, UK. Those who’d like to view my thesis can do so here: http://wrap.warwick.ac.uk/54359/
Through my academic studies of the world and its political institutions, after years of study I finally realize that I am (and happy to be labeled as such) a post-structural, post-colonial, feminist academic. One who seeks to write and live by the works she invests her energies into – which brings me onto a totally different facet of my life – one which I am integrating into my public, social and academic identity (and vice versa).
In addition to the identities described above – I am a priestess, a holistic astrologer, a spiritualist, a writer, a poetess, an artist and a bunch of other things that I keep evolving into.My spiritual journey intensified when I went through several years of soul-searching during my PhD in the UK, and I have undertaken numerous pilgrimages to sacred sites in India, Nepal, the UK, Malaysia (so far) – all of which have deeply moved, transformed and awakened parts of me that I did not realize I had. Now I know, and here it is.
I run several pages dedicated to my spiritual and astrological explorations on FB which currently (as of 23.1.2015) reach nearly 10,000 people and continue to grow. I write regularly and publish on my FB public profile and network with spiritualists all across the globe.
One reason I wanted to make this profile and ‘go public’ as it were was to accept the different facets of my identity – a decidedly liberal academic – a post-colonial, post-structural political scientist – a internationalist- a Malaysian-Tamil – an ethnic minority – a public speaker – a motivator – a priestess – a woman – a feminist – a Goddess worshiper – a star-lover – a poetess – and to demonstrate (to myself first of all) that they can all coexist in one person.
So here’s to co-existence and creation.
Vanakkam, Namaste and Blessings to all,
Dr. Bairavee Balasubramaniam, PhD
Use the contact form below if you would like to get in touch